But where's the rest?

"Mummy, there's a mouse foot on the floor!"
"A what?"
"A mouse foot. There on the kitchen floor".
"Oh. So there is".

Cat water

Like all responsible pet owners, we supply our cat with fresh water every day. It is placed in a clean bowl, next to her cat food.

Before our bathroom do-up, she would prefer to come into the bathroom each morning, slip under the shower curtain and lick the water that remained on the shower floor after Brendon and I had washed.

However, a new shower complete with shower door has meant that her favourite flavours are now unavailable.

She has decided instead to lick the windows in our bedroom after eating her morning cat biscuits.

Happy birthday?

Being interested in the health and wellbeing of my baby, I picked up an information sheet on iron at the Plunket rooms recently. All interesting stuff - facts and figures, haem vs non-haem foods, suggested eating plans.

One sentence caught my eye: "Continue breastfeeding until about 1 year".

Why one year?

The World Health Organisation says that breastfeeding should be continued up to two years of age or beyond (see this for example).

Anthropologist Kathy Dettwyler notes that the predicted age for weaning for humans is somewhere between 2.5 and 7 years here.

The American Academy of Pediatrics is closest to the 12 months thing, recommending breastfeeding for at least 12 months and as long thereafter as mutually desired (taken from here - my emphasis). However, if you've ever read breastfeeding literature from the States or the breastfeeding blog listed in my links over there on the right, then you may notice that attitudes to breastfeeding, especially in public, appear to be much more conservative than those which we enjoy in New Zealand.

From my reading and discussions with mothers, it appears that true self-weaning in Western societies seems to occur somewhere between 18 months and 4 years for most children. In other words, there's significant variance.

So where has this one year figure been plucked from?

My thoughts are that culturally, in this country breastfeeding is usually seen as being for babies. Once your baby is walking - at about one year - they are uncomfortably toddler-like. Surely they don't need it anymore. Surely....I don't know, it just doesn't seem right .

Taking a step back a little - in New Zealand, we appear to be focusing on ensuring that the youngest babies get breast milk. This seems an entirely appropriate strategy, given that our breastfeeding rates, which for 2006 were:

At six weeks, the full and exclusive breastfeeding overall rate was 66% with a breakdown of 70% of European/Other babies, 59% of Māori babies, 57% of Pacific babies and 55% of Asian babies.

At three months, the full and exclusive breastfeeding overall rate was 55% with a breakdown of 60% of European/Other babies, 45% of Māori babies, 48% of Pacific babies and 53% of Asian babies.

At six months, the full and exclusive breastfeeding overall rate was 25% with 29% of European/Other babies, 17% of Māori, 19% of Pacific babies and 25% of Asian babies.

I got those stats from the Ministry of Health.

It makes sense to target your initiatives where you are going to get best bang for buck - and let's face it, if you start talking 2-7 years to a woman who is pregnant or has just given birth, I think that the most likely reaction would be shock and horror! Start small, get breastfeeding established - and worry about duration once our smallest and youngest citizens have been looked after.

And why does it matter anyway?

Because on public health grounds alone, breastfeeding is a continuous good news story. From cancer to obesity, from ear infections to gastro-intestinal complaints, breastfeeding just keeps oncoming out on top.

"We need to remind mothers that breastfeeding remains the most powerful prevention against both malnutrition and infectious diseases."

1. Dr. Gro Harlem Brundtland, Director-General,
   World Health Organization;
   August 10, 1998 (from here)

And it's cheap. And it's environmentally sound. And convenient. And a powerful emotional experience for mother and child. These benefits don't just stop when a child turns one. Sure, marginal benefits apply and the relative benefits of breastfeeding diminish as a child grows. But the benefits are still there.

However, breastfeeding doesn't necessarily come easily. It may be natural, but it is a learned activity. Breastfeeding families need support to learn the art, and to solve any problems that come their way.

So where am I going with this?

Well, New Zealand Beef and Lamb marketing people, if you are going to distribute information on iron you had better make sure that your factual statements are actually factual, and that opinions are identified as opinions. Or else rabid breastfeeders will blog about you!

I am sure they are quaking in their (leather) boots. ;-)

Family portraits

">
Here's some art that Isabelle did about a month or so ago. It just resurfaced from the paper pile and I grabbed the camera before it got buried again because I liked it so much!

I'm not sure why one of the images is much bigger than the other. Perhaps it will look different by the time I publish the post. Perhaps not. Technology.....

But I digress. The person in red is me. Note my long hair and eyelashes! I am next to Daddy. Note his large tummy! Hehehe!

The dark haired girl in the top photo is Orla, wearing a beautiful gown. Standing to her left is Aidan. Aidan is a prince wearing a crown.

Shhhhh.....

No adult moves as quietly and stealthily as one who is lying a baby down for a sleep.

Movements are smooth, fluid and slow. The baby is gently separated from the warm self and lowered, gently, gently....ahh... Once baby is lying on the cot or bassinet, contact is maintained - a warm hand gently on the chest or cupped around the head - yes, I'm still here. You are safe.

With the other hand, blankets are raised and tucked. Then the hand comes off - slowly, slowly.

Now for the raising of the cot bar. Gently now - avoid noise when the metallic safety clips fall into place.

Watch for one breath, two, three, four, five.....

Now creep from the room. Fight the urge to whoop loudly as you dream of hot coffee - creep away, ears perked for a whimper.

Sleep baby sleep.

Elimination communication

Before and during my pregnancy with Orla, I did a bit of investigating and reading into elimination communication. EC is also known as natural infant hygiene, or nappy-free babies. Yes, that's right - no nappies! And this doesn't mean the child just relieving themselves wherever, whenever, and the parent mopping it up. It's using a mixture of tuning into the child's needs, cueing and observing the child's patterns to get them to an appropriate receptacle at the right time. It's similar to the "holding out" that my Plunket book recommended as part of a sound baby routine. However, it seems more focused on the communication between parent and child than a something you do at a certain time of day.

The more I read about it, the more it made sense. It seemed to be a mix of classical and operant conditioning (cueing on elimination, plus the whole holding-out process becoming connected with toileting) and picking up the child's signals. It made sense that this is what people did all over the world who couldn't afford nappies, didn't have washing facilities - and didn't really require them. It made sense to avoid a child learning over time to use their clothing as a toilet and then having to unlearn this. And no nappies to clean up after! (Whatever the type of nappies you choose, wiping a poo bum is still wiping a poo bum....).

I also thought it was an interesting counter-cultural concept. We are told that it is not possible for a child before x months to be aware of their toileting needs. It is not unusual in New Zealand for relatively old children to still be in nappies during the day.

But questions - big questions - remained. The reality is that I'm not in sub-Saharan Africa. I can't just pause during a shopping mission on Lambton Quay and hold out my baby into the gutter to relieve herself. What happens in the car? Or on the bus? Or in the freezing cold? Or at night? And would life really be easier? Would I just end up cleaning heaps of messes off - well, off everywhere!

So, I thought that I would give it a go in a casual way once the new baby was born. After all, people in Wellington right now are doing it, so it must be possible.

Well, Orla arrived early and the demands of three pre-schoolers soon meant that any ideas of introducing such new concepts to my parenting just fell away. No worries, I thought. The literature says I have a six month window before introducing EC is much harder.

And six months came and went...

So there I was a month or so back. I thought that I may as well give this EC thing a try, even though it was probably too late and it was probably impractical. After a nappy change, I took Orla to the bathroom and made a cueing noise for pee.

And she peed.

Unbelievable!

I started trying to remember to do this at a nappy change. She would pee with the cueing sound about once every three tries. Then one day she peed EVERY time! There was even one time where I took her dry nappy off, peed her, then put the same nappy back on again.

Of course, she would not do this when anyone else was watching!

Then just as mysteriously, she stopped peeing on the cue. Then I got busier, forgot to do it a few times, and we were back to not trying again.

So the whole peeing thing hasn't really developed into long term changes.

However, we have had some pooing success! Orla poos only once every few days. It's fairly obvious when she needs to go by the pushing and grunting! So, I have been taking off her nappy as soon as she starts up, and holding her out. At first, I just held her out over her nappy. Now we have the potty in the lounge so I can grab it quickly. This is great - hardly any mess to clean off her, and the poo doesn't get squished into her bits or into the nappy, so it just falls off into the toilet. I haven't had to change a true poo nappy for about a month now.

It would be exciting, if not for the smell. I mean, it is great to achieve, but holding a baby over a potty is not something I would choose to do as a leisure activity. But it is cleaner and more convenient than wiping up the mess after the fact.

The trick now will be to get her used to the idea that poo goes in the potty. Hopefully we can just stick with this and as she gets older, transition her to the toilet.

As for pee...well, I just don't know. It's a mixture of trying to be practical (I don't want to spend my days obsessing over her toileting - and neither do I have the time to do this) and convenience. Changing a pee nappy is no big deal really.

We shall see.

(Just as I finished writing this, Brendon brought me Orla for pooing - another catch!)

The dog ate my homework

Today I sent a note to school with Isabelle along these lines:

"Dear teacher, could you please send a new alphabet chart home with Isabelle today. Her sister ate the last one".

Actually, letters s to z were retrievable. The rest was in little pieces, or already being digested.

From the child's perspective

It had been one of those days. I had just served up baked beans on toast with an egg for dinner.

Isabelle and Aidan tucked in with gusto.

"Why are you giving us special treats for dinner, Mum?" asked Isabelle.

Come in number nine!

When I signed on, it was about 10.15 am.

Little Thomas John has been safe in my sister's arms for probably less than an hour.

He's 8 pound 12 - a giant compared with my Orla. Just a wee boy compared with some other cousins!

I can imagine what he looks like. But only imagine. I won't really get to see him until he is two months old - past newborn.

I'm itching for the news that only his mother can tell me.

A baby's catalogue

Orla can:

- sit by herself (although her preferred position is on her tummy);
- wave;
- sleep in her cot (something her big sister never really did!);
- blow large raspberries;
- make pre-crawling movements - butt in the air, pushing with her toes (but not at the rocking on her knees stage);
- spin around on her tummy to face her preferred direction;
- babble "mumumum", "dadadadad", "bububub" in such a way that it seems like she might even have identified the sounds with a person;
- eat a variety of finger foods. She likes sausages, bread, asparagus, rice and kumara.

8888 r b '''cxsc 8 6t3 c ,.xcv g b t ' xcv 4 c t sc t cv xxxxxc g g cbbbbbbbbv

Oh, and she can type.

Claaaassy

Brendon bought me a nice organic lemon lime and bitters to drink.

Its label says that it is "tangy and sophistocated".

Hehehe

Iris

Aidan got very upset today when it was time to leave Playcentre. He was having a wonderful time playing in the sandpit with Iris.

I have known Iris almost her whole life. We must have met soon after her birth when she would have been brought to Playcentre.

Iris knows me well, and trusts me. I know this because today she came up to me and said:

"Mary, could you please take away this piece of fluff from my tongue?"

Upon inspection I could see small wisps of white threads teasing her tongue in an almost invisible fashion. Iris extended her tongue and I delicately plucked them from her wide open mouth. Such physical intimacy is only generally permitted with one who is known, and trusted - whatever your age.

It reminded me of when we went to the zoo, and I felt a little hand fold into mine as we walked past monkey island. A little hand that though not related to me, was nevertheless familiar and welcome.

Last term Iris brought me a dead worm she had found.

By school pick-up time, Aidan had convinced himself that we were going to Iris's house afterwards. He was disappointed to come home instead. Once back, he said:

"I really like Iris".

Yeah. Me too.

Questions I am asked

Here are some questions that I have faced recently:

1. How were Grandma and Grandad formed?
2. Why do you need to learn?
3. What happens when you bump into a girl and you are a girl?
4. In the old-fashioned days, did they have leg holes for babies to put their legs through?
And my favourite...
5. Does Darth Vader wear black nail polish?

The answer to number five?

"Well, I don't know if he wears nail polish, but if he did, I'm sure it would be black".