Ailments and afflications
Here is a list of Playcentre-related things that either I, or others in my family have suffered from. Be warned - Early Childhood Education can be dangerous.
Repetitive Swing Injury (RSI). Sufferers are always adults who have got caught by the swings for most of a session on a day where many, many children want to be pushed. And pushed. And pushed.
Vice Distress (VD). Occurs when an adult misjudges the distance between their thigh and the child-height metal vices in the carpentry area.
Overload of Snot (OOS). Enough said.
Systemic Transfer Disruption (STD). A general label for a number of symptoms which mean that the sufferer takes an inordinate amount of time to leave Playcentre at the end of session. Usually involves many trips between car/buggy and the Playcentre building, many bags, large pieces of creative art or craft, stalling by children, chatting, returning excessive numbers of transitional objects and remembering vital details just as you are about to close the gate for the last time.
Playcentre Adhesive Syndrome (PAS). Related to STD. A child suffering from PAS will be extraordinarily hard to remove at the end of session, or at an older sibling's drop off.
Glitter on Baby Syndrome (GOBS). The key symptom is the adhering of glitter to your baby's scalp. Months later, there is always just one more piece of glitter to be found.
Fingerpaint under Contacts (FUC). Adults wearing contact lenses are at increased risk of this ailment when supervising fingerpainting by trajectory schema children. Very painful. Makes you want to cuss.
Acute Dress or Hair Distress (ADHD). Children affected by this are highly sensitive to the announcement that the departure for Playcentre is imminent, unless their dress and hair style is to their absolute satisfaction.
Insistent Lunch Lurking (ILL). See PAS above. Children who show signs of being ILL refuse to leave at session's end, and hang out with the on-duty children who are starting to eat their packed lunch. Often accompanied by hopeful searches of their own bags. Sometimes treated by allowing a packed lunch at session's end.
Repetitive Swing Injury (RSI). Sufferers are always adults who have got caught by the swings for most of a session on a day where many, many children want to be pushed. And pushed. And pushed.
Vice Distress (VD). Occurs when an adult misjudges the distance between their thigh and the child-height metal vices in the carpentry area.
Overload of Snot (OOS). Enough said.
Systemic Transfer Disruption (STD). A general label for a number of symptoms which mean that the sufferer takes an inordinate amount of time to leave Playcentre at the end of session. Usually involves many trips between car/buggy and the Playcentre building, many bags, large pieces of creative art or craft, stalling by children, chatting, returning excessive numbers of transitional objects and remembering vital details just as you are about to close the gate for the last time.
Playcentre Adhesive Syndrome (PAS). Related to STD. A child suffering from PAS will be extraordinarily hard to remove at the end of session, or at an older sibling's drop off.
Glitter on Baby Syndrome (GOBS). The key symptom is the adhering of glitter to your baby's scalp. Months later, there is always just one more piece of glitter to be found.
Fingerpaint under Contacts (FUC). Adults wearing contact lenses are at increased risk of this ailment when supervising fingerpainting by trajectory schema children. Very painful. Makes you want to cuss.
Acute Dress or Hair Distress (ADHD). Children affected by this are highly sensitive to the announcement that the departure for Playcentre is imminent, unless their dress and hair style is to their absolute satisfaction.
Insistent Lunch Lurking (ILL). See PAS above. Children who show signs of being ILL refuse to leave at session's end, and hang out with the on-duty children who are starting to eat their packed lunch. Often accompanied by hopeful searches of their own bags. Sometimes treated by allowing a packed lunch at session's end.
Labels: Playcentre
posted by Mary at 1:12 pm
2 Comments:
Hi,
I just found your blog. I am also a Playcentre mum and recognise many of these conditions, but had not had a name for them before. Might have to print this out to share with my fellow sufferers.
Hi Johanna! Nice to "see" you here! There's just a few Playcentre people on blogger. I've linked to two other Playcentre people on my blog (Ecoworrier and Thinking with my hands over on the right hand side of the screen).
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