The sound of silence

Both children are asleep right now as I type this. I am taking the opportunity to clear my emails and do a few Playcentre-related jobs on the computer. Pity about the pile of dishes....

My day of recording limits imposed/expectations I had of my children was quite interesting. I realised just how many times a day the children have to obey rules and modify their behaviour. Don't get me wrong, this is not necessarily a bad thing - it's just that this knowledge gives me a bit more understanding and a bit more empathy for what it must be like to be a small child trying to learn how to get along in the world. Haven't written my analysis up yet, but I have plenty of material to work with.

I decided to do a rewards chart with Isabelle for her room. "Project clean room" is now on our wall, with squares for where each earned sticker goes, and rewards indicated by the numbers 1 to 6. I cunningly made the chart so that she gets her first reward very early on, but then the time between desired action and gratification gradually lengthens. Expectations are high - books, toys AND clothes have to be in place before she earns a sticker. Isabelle decided that chocolate would be her first incentive.

Great plan, only problem is that we are on day 3 and she hasn't earned a single sticker yet!

This afternoon is the last fairy ballet class for the year. Brendon is finishing work early so he can come and watch. Isabelle has borrowed a pink fairy outfit from Playcentre to wear as a special treat (it was new today, which would usually mean I would discourage her from taking it - but I thought it would be OK as it is for a special occasion and we are going to return it in time for tomorrow's session).

Discipline

Today I am going to do an assignment for my Playcentre course. It comes out of the "Enhancing Children's Social Competence" workshop.

Here's what I have to do:

Over a day take note of any episodes where you need to set limits or make clear any expectations you have ...Try to reflect on at least four specific episodes....Consider each of the episodes chosen and rate yourself on each of the three continuums given.

The continuums are responsiveness to children's needs or wishes, expectations for children's behaviour, and control over children's understanding and behaviour.

This should be interesting as I have selected an "at home" day (which usually presents more challenges purely because there are fewer distractions!). I also need to tackle the ongoing saga of Isabelle's room today. Like me, she's a messy. In theory, I don't really mind this - it is her room and her problem if she can't find anything when she needs it! But it isn't really working out that way, as it affects all of us when, at two minutes to go until we need to leave for ballet, the second ballet slipper is still missing, or when I have a whining, crying child because she "has no pretty things to wear" (i.e., they are in crumpled, dirty heaps under her bed, in her toy box etc etc). I also feel personally affronted when precious books are left to be trampled on the floor, or expensive toys are crushed underfoot.

I have no specific plan of action yet - something to muse upon while I hang out the washing....

Tonight is also the final instalment of my extending children workshop, so I will have plenty of time for theoretical reflection this evening.

Dress ups

Yesterday at Playcentre Aidan dressed up for the first time. He chose a firefighter outfit - red helmet and shiny silver coat. He did this with the help of another adult (who reported that he very purposefully chose what it was that he needed). By the time I got the digital camera at the ready, he was sick of wearing the hat and was about to take off the jacket, so the photo isn't that great! But worth recording nonetheless.

Up until now, Aidan has only done dress ups at home. No doubt under the influence of his sister, he has only been attracted to butterfly wings (of which he has his own set) and fairy skirts. Earlier this week, I heard this exchange:

Isabelle: Time to dress up. Would you like to be a fairy or a princess?
Aidan: Ummm....a princess.
Isabelle: Right, follow me then.

Isabelle then dressed him in a suitable skirt, which he was very pleased with for about five minutes.

I have seen her teaching him fairy ballet moves too (both dressed in suitable skirts). Isabelle seemed to have quite a talent for remembering the steps she has been taught, and Aidan was doing a fine job of copying them.

I'll be watching with interest to see if he browses the Playcentre dress ups again in the near future.

Time travel

Yesterday evening I went to a retirement function at my old old work (i.e., two jobs ago). The function was for a much loved and highly respected former colleague. I was really touched to be invited, given that it was a good 6-7 years ago that I left there.

I let Isabelle know my plans (that I would drop her and Aidan off to Brendon's work, and that they would go home with him while I stayed out). She expressed an interest in going with me, and I decided that that would be fine. Later, I began to see that there were indeed many advantages to this arrangement. Given the passage of time, I might not know anyone - with Isabelle I would have someone to talk to and a good excuse to depart early!

We arrived on time, and as expected, I did not really know anyone there. It was lovely to see and be remembered by one of the receptionists - a very friendly woman who I always enjoyed chatting to when I had cause to pass by the reception desk in the past. Little by little I saw a few familiar faces (some people took a couple of minutes to remember why I looked so familiar, I think!). Isabelle was duly impressed by the food table, and made short work of finding the marshmellows and strawberries plate.

It is always odd to go back in time for a little. I had two very visible reminders of how much my life had changed since I worked there - Isabelle, and my visible pregnant belly! And when I mentioned that actually I had a son too who was with his father, I could see that other people had not really realised just how many years had passed since I had moved on.

Isabelle and I went early before the formalities. I would have been very happy to stay on and hear the speeches, but she was ready to go and I was comfortable with that. (I checked first to see what the schedule was!). We went looking for some pink summer sheets for Isabelle's bed (unsuccessfully, but it is very important that they are pink - no substitutes allowed!). We went home on the bus, and were back in time for a takeaway tea with the boys.

I'm very glad I went. I enjoyed catching up, albeit briefly, with some former colleagues. And I very much enjoyed farewelling the man in whose honour the function was held, meeting his wife and showing some of the love and respect which I hold him in. We truly tread some difficult paths together. He is one of those people who has really touched my life and who I will always remember.

Haere ra e te matua. And enjoy your retirement!

Busy busy

A busy week this week.

Yesterday we went to town as I had to have some routine blood tests. Last night it was back on the motorway for part 2 of my extending children's thinking course. Tonight it is Playcentre discount shopping night at the Playcentre shop - I have my Christmas list at the ready....

Both children went to see the dental therapist today. It was Aidan's first time, and he was very unconcerned by it all. The dental therapist is great - she really puts the children at ease. At this age it is just a quick look in their mouths really. No concerns with either. Aidan has just 1.5 teeth to go before he has his full set of baby teeth.

The children's personality differences came out during their consultations. Isabelle went first. Clutching "Lady" and the "Milk Tanker" from their Thomas the Tank Engine set, she went over to the therapist. The therapist asked her a couple of questions, to which she nodded her replies. Then she asked her the name of the engine. Isabelle shyly smiled and said nothing. Aidan shouts from behind me: "IT'S LADY! LADY! LADY ON TV! SNAPPY SNAPPY DIESEL!".

When it came time to choose their "rewards", both chose little kittens made out of dental wadding. Isabelle's one had a orange tail, and Aidan's was yellow. Both also got star stickers and glitter.

Book

A piece about Isabelle and her rotational schema will be published as part of a British book on learning in early childhood. It has come from the work that the Playcentre has done as part of the Ministry of Education's Centre of Innovation research programme. I received a copy of the chapter today. It includes six photos that I took of Isabelle and her artwork as part of a series of observations, and parts of my write up of what I had observed. Very cute! I hope we will get a copy of the publication for our Playcentre library.

Christmas cake

This weekend I made my christmas cake. I went with the same recipe as last year (and the year before, and the year before). The ingredients were bought last weekend. Thursday afternoon I started soaking the fruit in a nice tawny port that Brendon had picked up duty free last time he went to Australia for work. Saturday morning was the big bake day. Isabelle and Aidan were very interested in watching, and everyone got their (washed) hands in to help at the mixing stage. Isabelle and I decorated the top together. I did the cherries, and she did the pecan nuts.

It took about 3 hours to bake - it has a slight dip in the middle, so I suspect that I could have put it in for just a little bit longer. It is now wrapped and aging in the pantry, waiting to be unwrapped and shared on Christmas day or thereabouts.

Third trimester

Today is the day that I am officially into my third trimester. I am sitting here wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans (hipster-style though) and pre-pregnancy tops, so I suspect I do not look like I'm about to pop at any moment! I do feel much bigger though. I am continuing to get heaps of kicks, squirms and general moving around.

Forgot to mention that one of Aidan's choices from the library yesterday was a book on hurricanes and tornadoes...how fitting!

Wild weather

Yesterday we had some major wind action. At the next suburb over (Kelburn) there were 120 kph winds, while over on Mt Kaukau they got up to 160. In the morning, the children and I went out to Karori to do various bits and pieces. Being rubbish and recycling day, after bundling the children into the car I had to retrieve our rubbish bag, the neighbour's rubbish bag, and our recycling bins from our front lawn. I then reloaded the recycling bins. I managed to wedge the neighbour's bin and bag into their new boxing by their letterbox - suitably visible for the workers to collect, but hopefully secure enough against the gale. I wedged ours in next to our letterbox.

Once in Karori, we battled the gales (and were lucky to find a park very close to where we were heading). The wind was so strong it blew Aidan basically off his feet and into me - fortunately he was holding my hand!

Back at home, the recycling people had been. I found our recycling bin in the empty section next door. The rubbish collectors were yet to come, but our bag was nowhere to be seen. I hope it had just blown down the road where it would be collected in the fullness of time....

Later that evening, I had to drive to Tawa/Porirua for another course (extending children's thinking). It wasn't too bad on the motorway as the wind had died down a bit by then - but it was still wet and the wind rocked the car in the twilight. I believed I was driving to the conditions, keeping at about 90-95 kph. However, the vote of the majority was that I was granny-driving, given how many passed me and at what speed they continued off down the road! The good thing about a decent two-lane highway is that you can afford to do a bit of granny-driving, as you are easy to pass.

Today we even got some sun.

Venus de Mama

Aidan endeared himself to me today. He pointed to the fabulous Venus, emerging naked and gorgeous from her clamshell (in the famous Botticelli painting) and said: “Nudey rudey Mama!”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all!

Baby preparations

Baby preparations have begun in earnest this weekend.

First, we have sadly confirmed that we cannot fit an infant capsule into the backseat of our car. As we don't really have many options there, we have gone ahead and booked one for January. Now we have to decide whether or not to get a new car (and if so, what type), and/or whether or not to change the car seats that the older two are in. I am fairly fussy about car seats (Isabelle is still in a five-point harness), so that may cut down some of our options as well. Adding to the mix is the age and state of repair of our current car, and the state of our finances! It may well come down to redoing the bathroom, or getting a new car...

The nappy buying has also started. I won my first trademe auction recently, which was for a fitted nappy and cover, plus snappi and wet bag. The nappy is actually medium-sized, so not for a newborn, but the wet bag will go into service straight away.

As of Friday, I had three lilac Rosies all-in-ones with velcro fastenings, plus two second-hand fuzzi bunz (from a trusted source and in beautiful condition, in forest green and turquoise). I have now added two happy heinys (one in a very cute leopard print, the other in burgundy) and a red nap-naps cover. Three kissaluvs (fitted nappies that I'll use with the cover) are on order as of last night. That leaves one more order of fuzzi bunz, and my collection will be complete! (To the uninitiated, fuzzi bunz are pocket-style nappies done up with snaps, while happy heinys are pockets with velcro fastenings).

Actually, bar the obstetric details, there's not much more preparation that needs to be done. We need to source a bassinette, and maybe buy one new outfit for baby (we have plenty of hand-me-downs from Isabelle and Aidan!) and that's it.

Allez les All Blacks!

Well, we watched the game this morning, bolstered by a delicious breakfast of bacon, mushrooms, avocado, tomatoes, toast and scrambled egg. The result certainly surprised all the experts, who were predicting anything but a repeat of the scoreline when the two teams last met in Paris. The victory was so convincing, that of course the next question is can the momentum be maintained into next year?

While we're on rugby, I am pleased to see I'm not the only one ill at ease with all this talk of waterfront stadiums in Auckland. Here's an excerpt from James Weir's column in our local newspaper:

When politicians try to build grand monuments to themselves, there is an international and long-running pattern of taxpayers forking out much more than expected, for much less benefit than expected...Building an Auckland waterfront stadium for maybe $700 million, maybe $1 billion, would get you two or three big new hospitals. Which is the better bang for the buck?

Yes, I'm aware of the economic benefits etc etc (which are also discussed in the Weir article). I agree that sometimes you have to have a vision and take risks.

But it's worth noting that here in Wellington, we still pay a proportion of every rates bill for "stadium purposes". I don't particularly begrudge that - it's an excellent facility which I have used, and which directly benefits the local economy of which I am a part. But calling an Auckland stadium "Stadium Aotearoa/New Zealand" doesn't necessarily make it of national benefit. Are the people who will bear the costs the ones who will receive the benefits? I just have a bad feeling about this...

Foxy lady

My technical blog consultant recommended I try downloading firefox rather than internet explorer to fix up my ongoing blog posting problems. Well, fingers crossed, but this seems to have done the trick (as well as solving some pesky smaller issues that weren't going away either). In addition to a blog that is working better, now I have a new icon down the bottom of my computer screen and a more stable internet platform! Long may this last!

Bitterly cold today, a real winter's day. This was expected of course, as I have recently waxed my legs (which usually heralds the arrival of a cold spell and, subsequently, lots of trouser wearing...).

Social competence

I have started to turn my mind to Christmas. Haven’t started making “to do” lists yet, but I’ve got everything more or less sorted in my mind. First up is the overseas Christmas cards (closing date this Saturday), followed closely by Christmas cake making and Christmas gift wish lists. Isabelle has been compiling her wish list since her last birthday, carefully circling items in the many toy and children’s clothing catalogues that make it through our letterbox.

I went to a Playcentre workshop last night on enhancing children’s social competence. It was quite good really, mainly about defining what social competence is and the learning processes (in an early childhood context) that assist it. At the same time I found myself enrolling for Course 4 of the Playcentre diploma (having completed Course 3 in term 1 this year). It will take me at least two years to complete (given the requirements and my current pregnant situation!). This isn’t so much because of the intensity of the course, but many of the workshops will only run twice a year (and are in Tawa, 20-30 minutes on the motorway away), and some of the modules take several weeks to complete. In addition you need to hold an officer position for twelve months (which can’t be backdated). So given that the AGM has just been, even if I completed all my course requirements this year, I would need to do another year being an “official” official (rather than an unofficial official!). That’s not really a problem though, as everyone in the Centre moreorless holds an office (as the Centre is small). After two years of being the librarian, this year I am co-special needs officer, and I’m on the finance and information teams too. And I’m in no particular hurry…

Rocky is growing fast – I feel as if I have increased in size significantly over the last few weeks. I’m getting lots of movement, which is positive, and I can definitely feel the changes in my centre of gravity!

More child art

Here’s a couple more of Isabelle’s recent creations. The first one is a picture that Isabelle did at home. What made it interesting for me was the smiley faces she has drawn. This is in keeping with her new-ish goal of creating identifiable “things” that she can show people. I’m not surprised she has shown an interest in this – adults tend to make particularly appreciative noises if a child has drawn a picture of “something” rather than a study of, say, the joy of yellow. But it also shows that she is developing better fine motor skills and is able to change an abstract thought into something concrete. Isabelle says that the drawing on the bottom left is “animals on wheels”. She says “the smiley faces are for playing a game”.

The second picture is of some carpentry. Isabelle did this with an adult at our Playcentre. She had a clear idea of what she wanted to do – the bottle caps are wheels. Isabelle says “first we got a piece of wood. Then we drilled a hole. And then we got nails in it. And then we hammered them. And then we put one bottle top on first, and then two bottle tops on top. That’s all”.

Both creations fit into her established rotational schema.

Cat on a mat

So, you may well ask, what is so special about a cat sitting on a mat? Don’t they do this all the time?

Aha! Well this isn’t just any old mat. It is our official cat mat. It is soft and blue, with waterproofing and decorated with advertising for cat products. Even better, we got it as a freebie, some years back. Given all of the above, the cat has always refused, point blank, to have anything to do with it.

Back when we had a cat chair, we would place her official cat mat on it. She would sit under it. She would sit around it. She would walk over, look at it and decline to be seated at all. But she would not sit on it.

We would place her on it. She would jump off again, preferring a cosy human lap, bed, or fresh washing…

So, long ago we gave up on the cat mat. The children play with it now and use it as a cuddle rug themselves. But today, after it had been freshly washed, I folded it up and placed it on top of the pile of stuff on our blanket box. And lo, there the cat sat.

Splish splosh bang flash

Last night was our fireworks evening at Playcentre. The children and I got a fish and chip tea at the local takeaway, then ate it at Playcentre. Brendon joined us an hour or so later after dropping his mother off at the airport with his own supply of greasies. After tea, Aidan joyfully saw that the sandpit was not only open, but that it had been well and truly hosed. There was a large lake in the lower sandpit that did not appear to be draining. What fun! Aidan splashed around, sat down, fell over, lay on the wet sand, raked, dug, stood in the holes that were dug in an effort to drain the lake, and generally had a fantastic time. Unfortunately I had not packed a full change of clothes, just one nappy, one pair of trousers and a top. Soon he was utterly soaked from head to toe, and his gumboots were full to the brim with sandy water.

Once he had finished, I hosed him down inside (in a sink designed for this purpose) and dried him off. Thankfully he was warm enough in just the extra things I had for him.

Next came sparklers, and chocolate ice creams for the children. Then, the main event – fireworks! One of the Playcentre fathers lit the fireworks in the (drained and raked) sandpit, while the families watched from a safe distance. It was only 7.30, so still light, but the children didn’t seem to mind. We had lots of bangs, flashes, smoke and pops as the pyrotechnic display progressed. Aidan enjoyed it, but lost interest towards the end and went to play on the swings and chase a small friend of his. Isabelle sat quietly on my knee for the duration.

I am so sad that this may be the last fireworks show at our Playcentre. It seems inevitable that we will be protected from ourselves and be unable to buy fireworks at some date in the near future. But I really hope that this new baby will be able to feel the joy and wonder of their first sparkler, just like Aidan did last night.

Shopping, ballet, playing

Well, I feel like I’ve had a busy 24 hours or so. Last night I went out with Pam to a Kirks shopping night for Plunket. (Kirks = Kirkcaldie and Stains department store in central Wellington). $5 a ticket (proceeds to Plunket), $10 Kirks voucher for every $50 spent. I bought Aidan a suitcase (which he will use when we go to Christchurch in December), some tea, chocolate, and christmas cards for overseas posting. I also got Isabelle some ballet tights and Aidan a little plastic ram. So that’s $30 of freebies. The only catch is that the $30 must be spent before 14 January, but I don’t really foresee that being a problem! Both children were very pleased with their little presents. (Aidan discovered the suitcase, which was supposed to be a surprise, but was swiftly diverted by the ram present…).

Isabelle wore her tights at ballet today. I really enjoy watching her dance, she seems to be having so much fun. Aidan was very well behaved, with the aid of sandwiches and four Thomas the Tank Engine books. Every now and again he would speak a bit loudly “Where is Belle? There she is! Hello Belle!” or “On, on, troublesome trucks!”, but I don’t think he was any louder than anyone else. We went for a brief walk outside at one point when I sensed he had finished with sitting still.

I ended up staying at Playcentre longer than intended today. It’s a drop-off day for Isabelle, but Aidan is always so keen to stay. I ended up delaying our departure, then of course when morning tea was set out I couldn’t drag him away! I made it home in time to put out another load of washing and check the mail, then we were back down the road to pick Isabelle up.

Time to go to bed – duty day at Playcentre tomorrow followed by a fish and chips and fireworks evening…..

At home

Today is another at-home day. Both the children have minor colds, so I thought it was best that they have another quiet day to get over the lurgy, ready for the rest of the week. I have much washing on the line and have done much housework already – yet strangely the house still looks messy.

The children were playing hide-and-seek together before, in the delightful way that many young children do. They took turns hiding in the same hiding place while the other one counted (Aidan to 5, Isabelle to 10), before the seeker yelled “I’m coming!” to (re)discover the hider.

Aidan has refused to have his much needed nap so far, which means none of us have rested. My pick is that he will sit down in the next hour or so, quietly read some books and nod off in the chair. The tiredness of course can lead to discipline problems! For example, I told Isabelle an hour or so ago I was confiscating her balloon for some misdemeanour. She promptly ran off and hid it (which of course didn’t change my mind, but my hands were full at that moment). A little bit later the guilts must have got to her as I found her putting the balloon in the back room (our usual place for contraband and confiscated goods). She told me very seriously that she was confiscating her balloon herself. This gave us a good opportunity to discuss the reasons for the confiscation and the expected future behaviour. I have told her she can have it back when Daddy comes home.