The Floyd Files

Something unexpected

2011-01-05T20:24:00.005+13:00

(Readers of delicate disposition may wish to exercise judgement before proceeding...).

So, what do you think this is?

It began when I was cleaning out my filing cabinet. I found a plastic bag marked "biohazard". How odd, I thought to myself. What on earth could be in here?

Ewww! Ewan's umbilical stump!

Although isn't it just a fascinating....thing...

Isabelle assisted by digging out a little hole in Ewan's pot.

And the mummified stump was reunited with the rest of its - stuff. Placenta remains I guess, although I hope they are long gone.

Ah, that's better!

Orla art

2011-01-05T19:44:00.006+13:00

Orla is a prolific artist, aided recently by new paint pens for Christmas, and a ready supply of paper due to our big post-Christmas declutter.

Here they all are enjoying the new supplies. Orla is working on one of her more detailed works.

However, sometimes quantity seems to be the focus. Nevertheless, there's a lot of brainwork going on in the background.

For this one, Orla said:
"For you Mummy!"
I made the classic mistake of presuming what was in the picture.
"Oh, two people".
"No, it's not two people. It's me [points to the one with hair] and a statue!"

Of course.

Seconds later:
"The babies are out at the beach with their Mummy and Daddy. They are in one tent, which is this tent [the green outline]".

Followed closely by:

"The babies in a castle with their Mummy and Daddy".

"Splashes out of the blue water going up and down".

And then, intriguingly:

"You can think about what the green things are that are shooting out of the water. [Pause]. They are fishes. The babies are here caughting (sic) them! There's me, there's C [friend], there's M [friend - all while pointing to blank parts of the page]. We're caughting them and putting them in a fish bag".

And finally:

"Me inside a green bubble".

Orla was particularly pleased to find some little square pieces of paper in the sea of white A4.

So what's going on here? We could think about the brainwork behind the pictures in terms of schema theory. From a very young age, Orla has been an encloser, which developed further into the related enveloping. The subjects of the first three pictures are all enclosed (in a tent, a castle, and a non-specific boundary). The fish are inside a fish bag. And Orla is pictured in her imagination inside a green bubble. There's possible trajectory elements too, with the fishes leaping out of the water, and splashes of blue.

Putting on more of a socio-cultural lens, Orla draws what is relevant to her. Families, including babies. Friends. Fishing expeditions. Holiday time - children out with Mummy and Daddy.

I quite liked the final "green bubble" picture. A real work of the imagination!

Christmas

2010-12-28T20:50:00.004+13:00

Despite best intentions, I never really got around to Christmas-related blogging this year.

What I do have is the traditional Christmas cake shot:

Seemed to come out OK this year. Only red cherries, as I went to the "other" supermarket on baking weekend, and they only had the one colour.

Harry Potter

2010-12-28T20:40:00.002+13:00

You stand in verdant beauty

2010-12-12T16:35:00.003+13:00

Last weekend was Christmas tree time!

Aidan and Brendon had bought one on the Saturday. We soaked it overnight.

Then they brought it into the house....

...for decoration while our Christmas cds played.

Ta da!

Christmas books were re-discovered.

And then it was off to Kirks to stand in line for....

Father Christmas! Who as soon as we made it to the front of the line, left to take a short break.

But he returned! Looking, er, slightly different and no longer requiring glasses, but I don't think any of the children noticed.

Requests were made.

Although this isn't a great photo, I love the look on Orla's face!

Then the big kids and I selected some new Christmas decorations while Brendon took the small ones for a romp in the park. We checked out the Christmas windows on the way back.

And we joined the others for a quick play in the sun before heading home.

Last week of school!

Fish

2010-12-05T20:17:00.003+13:00

The children's new fishing rods were christened on Saturday. And they had success! Isabelle caught one (which escaped off the wharf back to the water). Aidan caught two, with one returned to the ocean and one making it home.

Naturally it was far smaller than the one Isabelle had caught.

Small though it was, it was cooked on the barbie (it's wrapped in tinfoil).

And it was enjoyed by all who had a taste!

The promise of Christmas...

2010-11-25T20:09:00.001+13:00

...the stirring of the Christmas cake.

Roman Day

2010-11-24T13:38:00.005+13:00

Following the children's interest in things Roman, we decided to have a Roman Day. We chose to celebrate the holiday of ludi plebeii, as it was conveniently located on our calendar.

The day began with "Roman baths". Our version was not as complicated an affair as the Romans would have experienced. First, we had the scented hot bath, followed by a cold plunge (quick cold shower), followed again by the scented bath. No photos...

Next, a trip to the massage room.

Then the kitchen slaves got to work preparing the feast. Here is a whole fish waiting to be cooked....

...while the children of the household waited in the shade of tents.

Roman maiden (with tunic and bulla).

Roman boy.

I had nothing like a stolla, so wore my summer dressing gown. Brendon spent part of the day resplendent in a toga made out of our sheets. No photos.....!

The first part of the feast was eaten outside. Pickled fish, mussels, flat bread, greek olives, goats cheese and Italian cheese.

The main course was served indoors - chicken, cold ham, fish, lentil and carrot soup, bread, cucumber with honey.

And cheap Italian red!

The whole fish looked less appealing now....

Reclining after the meal.

A bit of dessert - mint tea with honey, honey and date cake (no sugar), one orange to share between the family.

Then on to the games! We had gladiator contests.

(Including a junior division).

We had chariot races...

...which could be hazardous!

This was followed by some music and dancing.

We weren't 100% authentic, but it didn't really matter. It was fun researching what we would do - and what we might do next time!

Zac

2010-11-08T10:44:00.003+13:00

Zac Power is a big hit in our household. Aidan is the main consumer of all things Zac, but Isabelle enjoys the books as well.

Mostly I like the books - they get kids reading which is generally A Good Thing. Then I don't like the books, as I notice typos or repeated words in the obviously hurriedly published paperbacks that are cashing in on the wave of popularity. Then I like them again when Aidan brings them to me saying "Look Mum! A spelling mistake in my Zac Power book!".

And role modeling obviously works:

And once you're in spy mode - you see evidence everywhere.....

Art splash

2010-11-08T10:33:00.002+13:00

I recently updated our art walls.

Here's some figures by Orla, showing people and some lovely hand prints.

Another from Orla, with text:"This is a big girl and it's me".

Marine themes from Aidan.

And a shot of one of our walls. You can tell which two are by Ewan - they are the ones painted just in the lower right hand quadrant (by short right-handed person!).

Orla envelopes

2010-11-08T10:30:00.002+13:00

Little things

2010-10-18T19:50:00.005+13:00

Orla likes to gift us little things. A flower....

Or a leaf.

Sometimes the little things are carefully cut up pieces of paper.

Sometimes they have important things written or drawn on them.

Sometimes the pieces of paper go into a container of some kind - a backpack, box or bag.

On this day, Orla put her bits of paper into the transparent back pack and said "I'm SO ready for Playcentre!". (This was just before term started). She put her bag on top of mine.

Once at Playcentre, she handed out little bits of paper to some of her friends.

Disconnecting/separating, enveloping, and something else that I haven't quite grasped yet. The gifting aspect is important too.

Necessity is the mother....

2010-10-03T20:25:00.001+13:00

I confiscated the new game of Connect 4 as it seemed to be causing fights.

So the children did their own Connect 4 outside.

Mathematics in motion

2010-10-02T19:12:00.004+13:00

After tea one night, the big kids decided to have a game of bowls down the hallway. Pillars, columns and octagonal prisms from the blocks-set served as pins, while Aidan's new glitter ball served as the ball.

It's hit! (Strangely the ball is almost invisible in these low-light photos!).

While one played, the other kept tally of the score - X means there was a strike. There was an agreed set of rules which seemed more complex than the usual bowling game!

Isabelle's turn.

And of course the big kids were keenly watched by the little kids, who played their own version the next day.

My thoughts on this:

- It's a great example of child-initiated mathematical learning/play. There's the obvious counting, addition and tally marks, but there's also the spatial relationships, learning how different block set-ups look (and whether or not they fit easily together in the classic bowling triangle).
- Children's learning choices are not random and are based on their environment and experiences. Isabelle and Aidan don't have much knowledge about bowling. I think most of my childhood knowledge came from this! However, in place of a canceled rugby game we went for the first time this winter - and Aidan very recently has been invited to a bowling party. So interest in bowling has been piqued.
- Imitation is important. Orla and Ewan would not have understood the game in the same way as the older two, but Orla knew the basics, and chose to use the same ball (in Aidan's absence!). Big kids can inspire - but in this case it was easier for the little kids to find their own way using the same resources at a later time when the big ones were elsewhere. Isabelle and Aidan's play was fully co-operative with complex rules. Orla and Ewan were more in the embryonic co-operative phase, with Ewan mainly looking on (a learning pose not uncommon in toddlers).
- I didn't know that the children knew about tally marks - I hadn't seen them use them before. Isabelle has since told me that you learn them in year 2. So this story also shows peer tutoring. Aidan would have immediately seen the relevance and usefulness of the tally mark as a counting system (which is hard to replicate in the classroom).

Connections?

2010-09-11T21:19:00.002+12:00

I wonder if Ewan is exploring connections....here he is lining up a series of blocks, then soon afterwards connecting trains together.

Birthday

2010-09-11T21:05:00.007+12:00

We are coming to the end of our local birthday season. Mine is in the middle of it all.

Since I appear so irregularly here, here is my 38th birthday self-portrait:

Here is my birthday cake!

A scene from my birthday lunch (cunningly foisted upon an innocent party in the guise of a playdate! ;-) )

My birthday dinner:

And my birthday chocolates (note the red and black one!)

And my funny hat: (actually number 2 of 3 I think).

More dancing

2010-09-11T20:57:00.004+12:00

Some of the best toys are the cheapest. I found some colourful scarves at the Sallies for a few dollars. They have been very successful. They have been draped around bodies as clothes and wafted as dramatic play props. They have been worn as accessories to school and beyond. They have served as baby-carriers (mainly frontpacks) and baby sheets. And then there's the dancing!

Shake

2010-09-11T20:49:00.004+12:00

Cleaning the toilet is not my favourite job. It has a kind of inherent yuck factor that I can't seem to shake by thoughts of practicality or bacterial counts.

However, while cleaning the toilet last weekend, I was very pleased to have a toilet to clean, and extremely pleased to pay rates for a working sewerage system.

Mother Nature sure knows how to focus the mind.

Happy birthday!

2010-08-27T20:36:00.004+12:00

Isabelle turned 8 this week. We had a surprise birthday gift for her - a day trip to Christchurch! (Thanks airpoints!).

We were a party of three - Ewan and I accompanied the birthday girl.

Here's our plane.

Isabelle had a bit of a read before boarding. (You know you've reached a milestone when your daughter is currently reading the same book you are!).

As we turned south we got a great view of the turbines to the west of Wellington. I just managed to miss the shot. If you look closely you can see the turbines under the wing of the plane....er....

There were cuzzies and grandparents and aunties and a wonderful Grandma-made birthday cake.

Candles were lit and songs sung!

And invariably, there was the wearing of funny hats.

Thank you so much to everyone who made the day such fun! And happy birthday to our beautiful girl.

Romans

2010-08-26T20:34:00.004+12:00

I have been reading the Roman Mysteries series aloud to Isabelle and Aidan. Originally I didn't realise it was a series - I picked up The Secrets of Vesuvius at the library because it fitted well with Aidan's interest in the Vesuvius eruption and some other reading we had been doing. But their interest was swiftly caught, and we have started to move through the novels.

After reading The Assassins of Rome the children constructed themselves "tunics" from some of Brendon's t-shirts.

Here's Aidan's interpretation of a bulla:

Aidan was so taken by his tunic that he wore it to school the next day. (It stayed on all day too - I was half expecting it to be bundled away into his bag by hometime).

Slice of (real) life

2010-08-20T20:44:00.007+12:00

I've read in at least two different places recently that reading people's blogs can get quite depressing. Understandably, people tend to blog about things that they are proud of - things that are going great! So blogland is full of immaculate houses and month-long meal plans, happy, creative and peaceful children, vibrant living and amazing crafts.

So for something a little bit different, here's a snippet of a day as seen by Aidan.

I realised that Aidan had taken 59 photos. So I flicked through them and discovered that he had taken some picture of a block construction he had made.

A few close ups of this and that - balances, characters etc.

Sister.

And Ewan. No! Babies are not allowed in the dvds! (What? No, of course that is not a copy of Breaking Dawn. It is a Very Intellectual book about....chess. Yes. Chess).

Time to dismount.

And...ooo! A camera case. (Babies are not allowed to touch the camera case). Orla seems displeased.

Nooooo!

(Edits several photos).

Humph.

Mummmm! (Where is Mum anyway?! Shouldn't some positive guidance be being provided?)

(Will I be in trouble?)

Oh there she is! Scrubbing around on the floor picking up the lunch left overs. And probably the breakfast left overs. And probably the left overs from last night's dinner too.

(No! Don't seem to be in trouble!).

And that's it. Nothing else happened. No crafts, outings, extended conversations, witticisms, baking.

But definitely some cool block work.

Libraries are tasty

2010-08-15T19:34:00.004+12:00

Aidan went to the library and found:

So today Brendon helped him make our first dinner course:

...while I helped out with the dessert.

Here's the custard being made.

Apricot jam onto sponge (bought by Aidan and me at the supermarket this morning).

On goes the custard.

Mixing the topping.

Sprinkles for that something extra.

Ta da!

Culinary casualties....(and why we don't have any photos of the oranges being cut up!).

And the main dish being served!

A very tasty meal. We have a little bit of trifle left over for dessert tomorrow night.

Show

2010-08-14T19:36:00.005+12:00

Tonight we were treated to an after-dinner show.

There was ensemble dancing.

And an impression of a colossal squid.

...which was somewhat truncated!

There were feats of strength.

Duos

And trios.

All done to classical music from one of Isabelle's ballet cds.

Truly a joy to watch!

Go the lions!

2010-08-08T19:46:00.006+12:00

Today was our rugby team's trip to watch the Wellington Lions at the Stadium. It wasn't the home team's day, but we still had a great time.

We met our other team members at some other lions.

Orla and Aidan added messages to the team.

Aidan was a natural on the mechanical bull.

Orla liked the bouncy castle and slide.

We sat down one end near the try line.

Not everyone payed close attention to the game. Actually between the hot dogs, hot chips, hot donuts, flag waving, excited team mates etc, it was amazing that any rugby got watched!

And of course there was Leo the Lion.

Block work

2010-08-07T20:31:00.003+12:00

The blocks (being kept in our main living area) get a regular work out at our place. Ewan uses them as claves, dramatic play props (usually telephones) and occasionally as missiles.

Orla does balances, towers, and dramatic play props such as doors and castles. These photos (showing bridging) were taken by Aidan.

Of course, with a toddler around, vertical structures can have a short life. Aidan captured Ewan applying evasive manoeuvres.

Sometimes they do the multi-media approach. Here's some blocks, trains and Qui-Gon.

Here Orla has constructed a scooter.

Line drawings

2010-08-07T20:26:00.002+12:00

More horizontals and verticals from Orla - gifts of art for Mummy and Daddy.

I'm starting to see some core and radial in her art too (perhaps inspired by two of her slightly-older friends). At Playcentre last week she was drawing suns.

Devil of a brew?

2010-07-31T20:04:00.002+12:00

A better class of molotov cocktail?:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/local/3977154/Guard-doused-Government-House-fire-with-water-bottle

More holiday fun

2010-07-21T20:42:00.003+12:00

Stuff my kids did at home....

Playing pirates. Possibly the first pirate game where massage was a vital component.

Escaping onto the deck to romp in the washing when Mummy wasn't looking.

Playing "chess". (Not standard rules!).

Purchasing hair product.

Our holiday in pictures

2010-07-19T10:25:00.009+12:00

All aboard on a lovely winter's morning.

Our charger awaits.

Goodbye Wellington!

There are lollipops and balloon animals onboard.

The ubiquitous colouring competition.

Hello South Island!

Kaikoura has a playground.

The inevitable roadworks.

The inevitable nudey butts!

Dancing with cuzzies at parties.

Driving towards snow-covered mountains.

Walking to the lake.

Cracks? What cracks?

Orla and assorted family members.

Orla whizzing across the ice.

Aidan shows how thick the ice is. (And if it had cracked, we would have been plunged into icy cold water up to our...knees! Or maybe shins).

Ewan wanted to try the earth raisins.

Across the lake.

Perfect morning for an outside coffee! (Yes, the bottom number was the temperature).

Cart ride in the frost.

Soccer.

Never too young to learn to drive!

Going home. The only thing that made Orla smile was me saying "fake farts". Must have been the alliteration.

Tunnels.

The obligatory fuzzy shot of seals.

Teeth

2010-07-06T19:16:00.003+12:00

Today it was Orla's turn to go to the dental therapist.

Teeth were OK! There were stickers for feet and hands, glitter for hands, and a crocodile necklace. Even big brother (and big sister) got some feet stickers.

After asking how to pronounce her name, the therapist said that she had two different spellings on her computer. I said "Orla", and, to my surprise, Orla said "O, R, L, A". I think I knew that she knew how to spell her name, but I was interested to see her confidence in spelling it out unasked to an unknown adult. More than that really - she understood what "spelling" meant. It was not just a rote response to someone asking a direct question.

Bird survey 2010

2010-07-04T12:36:00.009+12:00

Once again, we have completed the New Zealand garden bird survey. Once again, we left it until the last day!

It was sunny and still this morning, and it seemed as though there weren't many birds around. This year's results were:

Black billed gulls 20
Blackbird 1
Dunnock 2
Fantail 1
Greenfinch 1
Goldfinch 2
House Sparrow 1
Silvereye 1
Tui 1

The stand-out result this year is the flock of gulls that passed close overhead - close enough that I'm confident they were not the red-billed variety. Not many silvereyes or sparrows at all.

Compared with our previous results, we have seen more species. However, I think that our average number of birds per species is down.

Here's our 2008 results

Blackbird 3
Chaffinch 2
Fantail 2
Goldfinch 3
House Sparrow 6
Kereru 1
Silvereye 3
Tui 2

And our 2009 results

Blackbird 1
Chaffinch 1
Eastern Rosella 1
House Sparrow 2
Silvereye 5
Song thrush 1
Tui 2

The baby in the mirror again

2010-06-21T20:26:00.006+12:00

About two years ago, I wrote this post about Orla recognising herself in the mirror. (And I was correct about Orla's handedness. My pick for Ewan - another right-hander).

Yesterday, I think for the first time, Ewan seemed to see that the baby in the mirror was himself. He's 16 months old. Only a few days ago, I saw that he had a sticker in the middle of his forehead. When I put him in front of the mirror, he didn't seem to realise that the reflection was his own. While he was certainly interested in this baby in front of him, he didn't touch his forehead or show any sign that he knew it was himself.

I don't have a good photo of yesterday's moment, but Ewan was wearing rabbit ears, and when Brendon lifted him up so he could have a look he seemed to give a wee jolt, then he reached up and touched the ears. He smiled, looked, touched and gave every indication that he was enjoying the joke and realised that this was indeed his own reflection.

In general, Ewan's cognitive development is pressing forwards. He understands more and more of what we say. Out at the washing line today, I said (in response to pulls on my leg) "OK, I'll go and get the sling in a moment". Off he toddled, reappearing at the door with my sling in his hand. To do this, he would have had to have understood what I said, remembered the sling, remembered where it was, known that he could get it, got back inside remembering what he was doing and why, and made it out again. He will respond to questions with nods or shakes of the head. He is naively honest ("Ewan, did you do this?" Careful nods. ) He knows what he is allowed and not allowed - he will stand at the computer with his hand on the mouse, looking at me and smiling. Not doing anything, but just letting me know that there he is, touching the untouchable!

He knows the household routines and will scramble up onto the bathroom stool to get his teeth brushed, along with the bigger kids. A few nights ago, Orla headed to the bathroom for her turn. I didn't realise, but the stool had been brought out into the kitchen. Ewan knew, and he knew it was needed. In he came to the bathroom carrying the stool for his sister, just as Orla was about to complain about its absence.

He seems to be able to open anything and climb anywhere. He has broken his first plate.

He is speaking single words here and there, but it is more his comprehension that seems to be advancing.

I foresee busy times ahead!!

Timber!

2010-06-21T20:08:00.005+12:00

We needed to see some more of that fleeting winter sun, so:

First cuts....

Spectators.

Umm....where did those children go?

Oh there they are!

Second trunk

Timber!

Aidan comes running

Never too young to wield your own hatchet.

Toddler dancing is so cute

2010-06-09T20:19:00.006+12:00

Ewan loves to dance. He has three moves:

The double arm - swing your arms out then in, out then in at the same time
The single arm - punch the air
Twist and turn - turn round and round and round until you fall over.

Every now and then he claps his hands.

We have some cute videos of him doing his thing.

I always find it amazing how the very young respond so naturally and so intensely to music - like it just connects with something inside them.

Ewan busts out his moves whenever he hears music - sometimes just a discreet single arm punch (or two) as we pass a shop with music playing, sometimes a more extended response.

I remember Aidan in particular being a keen toddler-dancer. I think his favourite move was the jiggle - bopping up and down on the spot in a sort of half-squat.

Ropes and lines

2010-05-11T19:54:00.002+12:00

It's amazing what you notice when you look for it! Or perhaps, what you see when you hold up a particular lens.

After writing the post on Orla's schemas yesterday, I noticed her today pulling gleefully on the blinds, saying "Mummy why do ropes makes lines?"

The whole ropes/lines thing reminded me of my February observation. And of course, if you were interested in horizontals and verticals, then venetian blinds with vertical cords would be, well, interesting. Especially the effect of pulling on the vertical to make it longer.

When "person" is not personal

2010-05-11T19:29:00.002+12:00

We are in a shop.

Orla, pointing: "There is a big, fat woman!"
"We don't make personal comments in public Orla, even if they are true or meant nicely. People's feelings can get hurt"
Pause.
Orla, pointing: "There is a big, fat, person!"

Vertical and horizontal

2010-05-10T20:25:00.007+12:00

This post is a personal record for me of Orla's developing schemas. I've been meaning to write it up for ages, but....yeah, you get that.... I keep having ideas about it, but then I lose them again. I hope that if I at least get this much recorded, I can come back to it sometime.

Anyway, in February I began thinking a bit more about graphic schema. I suspected that Orla was most interested in vertical lines, with a bit of horizontal action as well. One day I observed her at home while the big two were at school and Ewan was sleeping. [Comments in square brackets were made by me]. She started by drawing a horizontal line, saying "This is a shower for everyone". She continued: "This is for you and Ewie. I'm chopping it this way so it can be nice. I cutted this one for Ewie".

She noticed my interest:"You take the photo of my pieces of paper! Funny!"

She continued: "I'm chopping them into pieces. Look Mummy here! It's a piece of paper for you". She hands it to me. "Here Mummy. It's got drawing on it". [It has too!]

"Do a "O" Mum. Do a "O" for me. An "O" goes like this. " She draws, with circular motions.

"I'm cutting all of it" [All of it]. "Yeah, all of it". [Look at that. You're cutting all the way across] "Yup".

"Little pieces and big pieces and little pieces. I cutted a baby half. Ha! Funny."

"It hasn't got drawing on it. This has. I'm not going to give Baby James to Playcentre. Because I'm not going to. I found Baby James. And Baby James was awake already and we said that I am awake. I am Baby James's Mummy, Mummy. You're a Grandma Mummy".

Baby James is a Playcentre doll that Orla had taken a shine to (and has subsequently formally adopted).

"It's got drawing on it. It's like a present. For somebody to wrap up".

Orla continues cutting and making lines, saying things like:

"You need to hold the scissors with finger and thumb, finger and thumb".

"It's a rope".

"I need more Mummy!"

"O is for Orla! I'm doing a O is for Orla!".

"A boat Mummy! I'm going to make a big boat. I'm cutting this off. But I"m not going to cut my dress".

"Here Mummy. It's a rope. I'm going to cut the lines. Now I know where I'm going I'm going in the line of a spaceship. Look Mummy it's another rope! Look, I made a triangle!".

I noticed at her next session at Playcentre that she was focused on cutting a piece of paper so that she (deliberately and repeatedly) had made a series of vertical lines.

Here's a selection of her paint art from term one this year - vertical lines predominate. (And thanks to big brother for assisting with the photos!).

So....what does all this mean? Of course, I'm still unsure. Whether or not it is fully reflected in the episodes I've recorded here, I have noticed a strong interest in vertical (in particular) and horizontal lines. The interest in "O is for Orla" is self-explanatory - however I have noticed an increased awareness of letters since Aidan has been spelling and doing formal literacy work at the table. She will say things like "Mummy, I can spell e-i-o-x-c". She is aware that letters can be joined up to mean things, and that the joining up is called spelling - but there are as yet a few missing links in that literacy chain!

In the first story, perhaps there was an interest in separation (chopping) and enveloping (the gift reference). The O is also an enclosure.

Planet disco

2010-05-09T19:47:00.005+12:00

On Friday I took Isabelle and Aidan to the school disco. They have them about three times a year.

I was interested to see what all the children wore. Some were in what could be called Sunday best. Others wore dress ups (ballet tutus, superman outfits etc). I suspect most ensembles were carefully chosen.

My children's interpretations of "disco best" were as follows. Isabelle wore her ballet character shoes (that have little heels), black mini skirt with black leggings, a white top made by her cousin with matching scrunchie, and her new African butterfly hair clip.

Aidan wore his rugby shorts and his rugby top (turned inside out). I saw at least one other rugby top there.

The disco passed in a blur of sausages in bread, flashing lights, sugary treats, high-pitched screaming and whirring light sabres (the latter being glow sticks, but really, how could they not be light sabres?).

Unfortunately for me, already my children are too old to want to dance with their mother. So I had to do the YMCA all by myself, which was probably far more embarrassing for them.

Fortunately Susan and Ruth let me dance with them down the back at the end.

Purrrrrrr

2010-04-17T20:39:00.003+12:00

Ahhhhhh.....new slippers.

"Are they made of real leopard skin Mummy?"

Biped

2010-04-11T20:48:00.002+12:00

There is nothing as joyous and beautiful as a baby's face when he makes those first few steps to Mummy.

Easter round up

2010-04-06T20:12:00.004+12:00

On Good Friday we made chocolate easter buns to go with our bought spicy fruit hot cross buns. Easter Sunday was the big egg distribution day, which went down well as always!

Didn't get around to any easter craft until today, the first day of the school holidays. It was cold, so scrambled eggs for lunch sounded good - so how about blown and decorated eggs?

The blowing was reasonably difficult as I had tried to keep the holes small for aesthetic reasons. I made the holes progressively larger depending on who was finding it difficult. Orla made a specially large hole in hers after she had finished getting all the egg out.

Next, the eggs were washed and dried.

Here are the children hard at work dyeing, after having drawn on the eggs with beeswax crayons.

On the rack to dry....

And in their basket on display.

Meanwhile, Ewan still likes how things fit into things.

Easter letter

2010-04-01T19:12:00.000+13:00

Der gama and grandad

hav a hapy esta and I hop yo get the eta box bfr eta.

Contentment in containment

2010-03-29T20:47:00.004+13:00

Ewan likes how things fit into things. Including himself!

He likes things in boxes.

Shake it all about!

And it's still there!

He also likes vehicles, and crawls around with toy cars, buses, trains and the like, sometimes making what sounds like brrrrrrrm! sounds.

He stands for a moment - he almost looks like he will take a step towards me - then giggles, crouches, and crawls into my arms.

He says "ca" (car) - different from his word for cat, and used when cars zoom down the street as we wait at bus stops, or as we walk up to the car before a journey.

Keywords

2010-03-17T20:38:00.002+13:00

Ewan can say:

Dada
Mama
AIDA! (Aidan)
Ca! (Cat)

I think this is a good reflection of his interests!

Ewan update

2010-03-06T19:55:00.003+13:00

Ewan is a very busy boy. He loves to explore. His chief scientific interests are answering the questions "is it dropable?" and "is it bangable?". Usually the answer to both is yes.

He loves to blow kisses and has figured out that it is a surefire way to get me to stop what I am doing, pick him up and cuddle him.

He loves to climb. I looked out a few days ago and saw him standing on top of Orla's ride-on with his hands on the handle bars. This was closely followed by him tumbling to the ground as I rushed to catch him. (Fortunately he was unharmed as this was on the lawn).

He is enjoying a wide range of foods now. Some even goes into his mouth.

I'm looking forward to his next weigh-in, which I think is next week.

Busy busy

2010-02-27T15:45:00.003+13:00

Busy busy.

Such a lot to do! And it's 2.30 a.m., so time to make a start.

Right then. Quick thrash about, then a bit of a sing. Pull myself up with the headboard and bounce. Find curtain and wave it vigorously.

A few press-ups on Mummy's face. Ah, she's definitely awake now. She's lying me down.

Squiggle. Wriggle. End up with my head by Mummy's stomach and feet by Daddy's face.

A few brisk kicks.

Whoops, being put back down again. Oh, Mummy's turned over. Oooo, a handful of hair! And when I pull it, Mummy makes these funny noises! What fun!

Let me just take a moment while I suck on my hands. Wow, look, they are all wet now! A few face slaps for Mummy while they feel so interesting.

Lying down again. Hmmm. Boring! No good, time to make a break for it. Let's just crawl off the bed onto the.....foiled again!

Oh well, I guess I might go back to sleep. After all I can just wake up again at 3.30. And 5.15. And 6.00!

Competitive art

2010-02-24T19:57:00.005+13:00

Ah! The ubiquitous colouring competition!

The children were keen to try their hand in a local competition. Even Ewan had a go. (OK, maybe for him it was a bit more adult than child-led!).

Here's the results in order of age:

Isabelle cut out the top of the paper for added interest.

Aidan worked hard on his, really focusing on his fine motor skills.

Orla worked on both sides of the paper, lightly scrunched it into a ball then offered it to me as a gift.

Ewan drew as much on my arm and the table as the paper, but simply loved it - swooping the pens from side to side, apparently marveling at his ability to make a mark.

Oddly enough the younger three are all competing in the same category - under 6s. What the judging criteria are is a mystery, and these things always have a bit of randomness attached. But you can see from these pictures the breadth of developmental stages this category crosses.

I have given several careful speeches along the lines of "well, that was fun wasn't it! It's about doing the art really isn't it, not so much winning. And you know, sometimes, it might just be the turn of only one child in a family to get an award". (Aidan merely asked at this point when he would collect his prize, but I think he understands and was just thinking positively! The last colouring competition Isabelle and Aidan entered resulted in prizes, so that skews his expectations).

I think we would have heard by now if we were in line for something, but all the art will be displayed this Saturday, and I'm looking forward to seeing theirs up there for the world to see.

(Oh, in case you were wondering....yeah, colouring in, colouring competitions - not very "Playcentre". But, meh, they were keen and engaged which gave it a thumbs up from me!)

Rabbit story

2010-02-24T19:18:00.005+13:00

We were walking home from school on Monday, much later than usual as Aidan had had a sports programme, and Isabelle a playdate. As we got closer to home, Isabelle exclaimed: "There's a rabbit!"

And so there was. Right there on the gravel next to the footpath, casually nibbling on a fern. My first thought was that it must be wild - it certainly had wild colouring. But as the children oohed and aahed and gently patted it - I thought that it must be a pet. It was only a baby and very clearly in the wrong place.

I assessed matters. I had four children, three bags, a stroller and a loaf of bread. Adding a rabbit to the pile didn't really seem feasible. Leaving it in the arms of fate was untenable. And I had a terrible feeling that if we walked home and came back with the car and a container, we might come back to nothing or squashed road bunny. Realising we were but metres away from a friend's house, we quickly knocked on her door. She was able to provide us with a cardboard carry case. Off we went back up the hill, with Isabelle carrying the rabbit. I carefully explained "the plan": no we could not keep the bunny as it was someone else's and we didn't have a suitable place to keep it. We would try and find its rabbit mother and drop it off at the SPCA in the morning otherwise.

The children were very excited. They really want guinea pigs (well, the big three do) and were so careful with their new charge. The bunny was put in our cat cage, with food and water. I tried to get the children to be quiet around the rabbit, to give it space and a place to hide. They did very well.

Meanwhile....the friend had mentioned that she knew someone nearby who had a new rabbit - she would call them to check this evening. I rang two experienced rabbit mothers for advice, and mentally prepared to put up a "rabbit found" sign on my way out that night.

Bunny seemed happy.

And hooray! During tea we had a phone call and yes, the friend of a friend had lost their rabbit and could they come and see if we had found it? After tea a little girl and mother came and were delighted to be reunited with their pet. It turned out that bunny was Rocky the hare, just 10 weeks old and fresh from a rather unsuccessful first night in his new hutch.

Rocky looked happy but exhausted in his mother's arms (complete with his own leash).

An offer was made to come and visit Rocky at home some time. The children were really pleased about this. I was happy too, so pleased that it turned out that we had done the right thing, and that a trail of happy coincidences had led Rocky back home. The children had had a taste (albeit a tiny one!) of pet ownership, and had proved themselves gentle, empathic and kind.

I really thought that we would have a happy end to this story.

However, it seemed that the adventure was all too much for little Rocky. He died that night.

It was upsetting to the big two, but not overwhelmingly so. It was also sadly true to the pet ownership experience.

RIP little Rocky.

Portrait of a sibling

2010-02-14T19:59:00.002+13:00

Isabelle by Aidan

Aidan by Isabelle

Catching up again

2010-02-14T19:47:00.004+13:00

Time for another catch-up post.

Ewan's preferred method of getting around is now the classical, rather than the commando crawl. He pulls up to stand and, as the photo shows, seems to think that climbing could be fun. He momentarily tried an unsupported stand the other day.

He has also attained that most masculine of milestones - first standing-up pee. (Against the bath, for the record!).

We are up to (approximately) Aranea the fourth). We have four egg sacs around the window. The first lot of babies changed colour to a more spider-like black, but never seemed to escape the sac. The second lot emerged in a coral coloured state, but then never went anywhere.

We have spider babies!

2010-01-26T20:58:00.002+13:00

The first egg sac is hatching! Tiny little spiders with coral coloured bodies and transparent arms and heads. None seem to have entirely escaped their protective webbing yet.

Aranea too

2010-01-24T21:10:00.004+13:00

If you squint a little over on the left, you might see Aranea too, our pet spider. As her name suggests, we think that she is not the spider she used to be.

Once upon a time, a garden orbweb set up shop in our window. We think she laid some eggs over there at the top right. But alas, like Charlotte, one morning after the egg laying she lay still, suspended by a thread in her holed web, seemingly (and bizarrely) in some kind of a death-embrace with an unknown insect. We didn't have time to investigate there and then, and by the time we did, she was gone.

However, very soon after the web was going strong again and there was Aranea too in its centre. And a new egg sac appeared over there on the left. Theory and counter-theory was put forward as to whether or not this was Aranea, or Aranea the second (aka Aranea too. Or 2. Or even two),

So, the story continues. We are waiting for spider babies.

Young literacy

2010-01-24T20:55:00.005+13:00

Ewan pulls himself to his knees now (all the better for exploring!), and can even pull himself up to standing. He still prefers the commando crawl, but does more and more knee rocking and has taken a crawling "step" or two. Tonight for the first time I came into the lounge to find him sitting in the middle of the floor (done all by himself, no propping or anything).

Of course, kneeling is a most effective way of emptying the bookshelves. (Check out the volume he has chosen!).

Breakfast...good....

2010-01-22T20:10:00.002+13:00

Was doing a spot of internet grocery shopping today when I spotted that a breakfast cereal the children like was spelled as "beery berry nice".

Mmmmm...

Project

2010-01-21T20:09:00.010+13:00

Here's one of those projects that children get up to on their holidays.

First, the big two hauled out some bits of wood and some tools and did some hammering and sawing. (I was quite pleased to see that they had a reasonable skill level with these - those days at the Playcentre carpentry table were not in vain!).

Isabelle made a bridge to jump over (on her bike, although that's Aidan in the photo!). Aidan made a "sculpture thing".

A bit later, more woodwork was completed, and out came the paints (being unused test pots from adult projects past). Orla got in on the act too.

The results have been displayed in the back yard for a while now, serving play in various roles (and as a trip hazard at the washing line!).

Daycare defence

2010-01-20T20:01:00.002+13:00

Flipping through some junkmail I found an ad for Daycare Defence. For only $34.99 a month, you too can give your child a daily dose (individually packaged in sachets for convenience) of probiotics to protect them from the host of germs that other people's children have.

A sensible precaution? A sop to middle-class guilt?

Interesting marketing angle regardless.

I'm reminded of a seminar thing I attended a couple of years back where lots of daycare for babies was labelled a public health issue.

What I've been reading: Toxic Childhood by Sue Palmer

2010-01-11T20:19:00.004+13:00

Toxic childhood: How the modern world is damaging our children and what we can do about it had a slightly unexpected effect on me. Rather than making me depressed, or even analytical, I found myself giggling through some sections. Which is not a criticism, just a reflection of where I am in the genre. I think I've read enough parenting books now so that things are starting to repeat themselves a bit and my attention wanders somewhat. When I'd read that Sue Palmer was

a former primary headteacher in the Scottish Borders

I formed an unfortunate stereotype in my head and I kept imagining a rather prim figure bemoaning the state of society and the feral underclass and the downfall of western civilisation. After all, a 2005 survey found that three quarters of pre-teens do not put their knives and forks together at the end of a meal (pg 33). Good heavens!

She also writes things that I seriously doubt would get published in New Zealand. Such as:

Thus 'the getting of literacy' creates enriched neural networks in children's brains, which may well be significant in the development of civilised behaviour. I don't think it's any coincidence that written language has proved a key element in all successful civilisations and that universal literacy appears essential to the success of democratic systems. (pg 201)

In a couple of chapters, she really seemed to have a bee in her bonnet despite entreaties from others (that she refers to in the text) to tone things down. Actually I think I enjoyed those chapters the most - nothing like a bit of passion and colour to make a book come alive!

Anyway. I think what Sue has to say is essentially correct, and if you distill the essence of her work, she makes a number of very sound and sensible recommendations about parenting. If you came out of it with nothing more than her authoritative mantra of "warm but firm, warm but firm" you would take away something of value. But here's some criticisms, questions and comments.

- This is a book written by a former teacher, who seems to make her living lecturing teachers. You could read it easily using homeschooling lens and frequently say "Aha! AHA! So why keep them in school at all then?!" Some of her comments are a bit...disempowering of parents shall we say. Such as:

Teachers learn about childish wiles through wide experience, but most parents' experience of children is limited. (pg 292)

I think I know what she's getting at, but I would have put it...differently. Perhaps it is only natural that an educationalist would not see the education system as part of the problem, or would argue that most of the problems lie primarily in the hands of parents to resolve. (Don't be fooled by this criticism though - there's lots in the book that is critical of educational systems that research shows do not work. And what doesn't work is early and competitive academics. I quite liked her idea of separating positive and real competition (such as that on the sports field) with that which is far too important not for everyone to be a winner (development of literacy, numeracy and a love of learning).
- An attachment parent Sue is not. Lots here about "proper" routines and this gem of a quote:

One important truth is that children - even very small children - are naturally manipulative. They have to be to ensure their survival - as the smallest and weakest of humans, they have to rely on psychology to make sure their needs are noticed. So they learn very early how to reward adults with smiles and punish them with screams, and as time goes on many become extremely adept at getting their own way.

(pg 292). Golly. My baby is performing behaviourist psychology on me to get his own way! I find this a really odd way of looking at the world - it assumes that children are extremely empathic and aware of the world around them very early on, rather than simply being highly focused on their own needs (because that's all they are aware of at first) and expressing their needs the only way they know how. In order to do all this "rewarding" and "punishing" they would have to have quite a good ability to take the perspective of another - an advanced skill indeed and ironically enough, perhaps the key to detoxing a childhood.
- I seriously doubt whether the golden age of childhood and parenting that keeps hovering just out of view ever really existed. I wonder what Sue would make of Parenting for a Peaceful World? Was there ever really an "adult alliance" out there, protecting the community's kids in exchange for good manners and respect?
- It's probably all too easy to mock her concern for the development of a feral underclass, but I quite liked the "Mind the Gap" sections. Because there are haves and have-nots in society. And there's only one lot who is going to be reading this book.
- If I had read the words "electric speed" one more time, I would have screamed.

Changes

2010-01-11T20:02:00.005+13:00

Already Ewan has changed since my last update post. His crawl style is more about alternate use of each shoulder and side as he pulls himself forward. He's started rocking on his knees, and has taken a classical crawling "step". (He's particularly pleased with this rocking-on-knees thing. In fact, the other night he woke me up at some early hour rocking backwards and forwards, chortling loudly as if to say "Hey Mum! Wake up! Look at me!". I'm sure he was underwhelmed at my response, which was basically a suppressed groan and a return to the mattress).

Orla is now three. We had a little party for her on Sunday down at Playcentre. She spent most of the time eating, with a bit of playing and present opening on the side. She was delighted with her stash.

Isabelle and Aidan have begun their own party plans in earnest. (For the record, they are August and September babies).

Dots

2010-01-08T20:13:00.003+13:00

We enjoyed the Kusama exhibition. It was simultaneously perfect, and difficult, for children. The look of utter joy and amazement as they entered the dotty rooms....followed by the exhortations NOT to touch ANYTHING or move their bodies quickly.... And everything looked so much like it NEEDED to be poked, prodded, or jumped onto.

Isabelle whispered to me when we were about half way around "I think she [Kusama] likes dots".

Yep!

Everyone's favourite installation was the fireflies on the water - mirrored reflections of fairy lights from all sides - worth the short queue to see.

We bought Aunty Loulou's birthday present on the way out (yes you are allowed to ask "umm, what is this?" when you get it, L. ! ).

Thank you Helen!

2010-01-06T21:07:00.003+13:00

Today was the day we took down the decorations and hauled the tree outside. I took the chance to grab a photo (front and back views) of this lovely gift from Helen, beautifully crafted for Ewan's first Christmas. Thanks Helen!

When Christmas presents fight

2010-01-04T20:18:00.001+13:00

The little known "Mouse Rebellion" in the early days of the Empire ended swiftly - and badly for the mice.

Christmas trip

2010-01-03T19:58:00.005+13:00

A catch up is also needed about our Christmas trip down south.

The ferry crossing was smooth.

We climbed up the Cathedral - there's Grandma and Orla far below. Ewan slept through this in the meitai.

And here's the Cathedral from the bottom, complete with halo.

We went to the Christmas children's pageant.

Presents.....

Smooth trip home with the aroma of hot sheep.

Ewan update

2010-01-03T19:30:00.002+13:00

Time for a baby update!

Mr Cute is growing steadily. He gets around using the seal crawl - pushing with his feet and hauling himself forwards with his arms. He's got quite speedy and seems to really enjoy his new freedom. When he finds something really interesting on the floor, he rolls onto his back to examine it closely.

His main interests are cats and doors. When spotting a cat, he makes a low guttural growl of pleasure, and tries to move his body towards said cat. This requires careful supervision. Door handles are a great source of interest when he's at their height. When on the floor, he enjoys swinging doors to and fro. This has obvious safety implications. He has shut himself off from me a couple of times and cried from behind the door. I've had to try to inch it open to retrieve him without hitting him with the door as I do so!

He is enjoying a range of solids, particularly paper. He has even ripped a piece of wallpaper off to sample. No book is safe - even board books get gnawed. He feels it is extremely unreasonable that paper is prohibited from his diet.

He has four teeth, and more threatening to come through. He likes playing peek-a-boo, and is desperate to play like the big kids.

He says Daddad and Mumumumum. Daddad means Daddy, but also Mummy or Isabelle. Mumumumum is reserved for when an urgent milk drink is required.

He has a special smile with a crinkled nose, reserved for when he is really, really happy.

Life education

2009-12-19T20:45:00.004+13:00

I was really pleased to see that the empty little shop down the road had been leased out. I could see that the new tenant was renovating the inside, and we wondered what kind of shop it would be. And - hooray! - it was not a pizza shop, but a beautician. I will admit to being partial to the odd facial and the like. This was great timing as I have recently abandoned my old beautician (due to poor service) and have been looking around for an alternative.

I was really hoping that they would be good - so convenient to just walk down to the end of the road rather than fussing over bus timetables or car parking or drop-offs etc.

So, I was booked in this morning for a pre-Christmas underarm and bikini line wax. Aidan decided that he wanted to come with me - why not I thought. And thus was Aidan admitted to the inner sanctum of womanhood, a place where few owning Y chromosomes have gone before. He brought his pocket-sized whoopee cushion along too (something no five-year-old boy should be without).

He was quite interested in what was happening (even though he couldn't see much). I took care to tell the beautician that Aidan had brought this toy (because farts during bikini-line waxes are so not the correct etiquette). And yes, regular farty noises were made. But I assure you, it WASN'T ME.

And that was that. All over in fifteen minutes, a good job done and a small discount on the regular price. I had to say whoopee! to that.

(Of course that wasn't the end of the story. Aidan announced during our early Christmas dinner with the in-laws that Mummy went to the beauty shop and got her hair SHAVED OFF HER SKIN under her arms and HERE BY HER GIRL BITS. I really think my BIL wished he had put his fingers in his ears at that point! At least it's the holidays, otherwise it may have been shared with the class for Special News).

Cake and tree - check!

2009-12-09T21:04:00.004+13:00

Christmas tree is up and decorated!

Christmas cake is made. No nuts on top this year, but the three biggest made glace cherry patterns instead.

Chistmas is coming....

2009-12-05T21:20:00.002+13:00

My christmas cake is a bit late this year - it's on tomorrow's to do list. A mixture of raisins, sultanas and currants is soaking in sherry on the top of the fridge.

A christmas tree is soaking in water outside.

And the first christmas card has arrived.

The countdown begins!

2009-12-03T19:49:00.002+13:00

We were a bit late with the Christmas box this year. It's usually out on 1 December, but Brendon hauled it down from the garage last night while the children were in bed. Aidan found it first just before 6.00 a.m. By breakfast I had heard Silent Night approximately 400 times.

We'll get a tree this weekend, so in the meantime the children have to be content with fossicking around in the decorations, playing the cds and reading the books.

I get the children a new book each Christmas. This year's book is Wombat Divine. Worth buying for the title alone! And when I saw that the author was Mem Fox, that sealed the deal. And the story is really nice too.

Summer in Wellington

2009-12-03T19:48:00.002+13:00

Tower

2009-12-03T19:43:00.002+13:00

And just in case you thought that the only thing we do with blocks relates to guns or Star Wars (or guns AND Star Wars), Orla's been building towers. This one was for her trains - she's really into the train set at the moment. She was really pleased when she got the quad blocks balanced on their ends so that they made a corner.

More blocks

2009-12-02T20:25:00.004+13:00

Aidan started using a single quad block as a gun in dramatic play. He then progressed to attaching octagonal prisms or columns to the quad block as a sight, then constructing types of guns (uzi, shotgun, rifle, pistol etc). And now we have....this rather fine example.

He tried propping it up with an x block, then constructed a slightly more substantial system.

Family round up

2009-11-22T19:50:00.002+13:00

Isabelle is busy preparing for next weekend's ballet show - the culmination of the year's worth of ballet classes.

Aidan is enjoying school this term - his reading and maths are visibly improving.

Orla looks forward to Playcentre and has a special doll (Baby James) who she carries most places.

Ewan has 3 and a half teeth and is enjoying solids. He rolls heaps (back to front) and has rolled front to back at least twice when I wasn't looking.

The older children especially are looking forward to Christmas.

Don't worry, it's only temporary

2009-11-18T21:25:00.000+13:00

On Tuesday, June 26, 2007, I blogged:

The bookcase and its books now (temporarily) live in the lounge.

Yup, they're still there....

Searching questions

2009-11-18T20:45:00.004+13:00

- Mum?
- Yes.
- You know how there are people in the ballet school who have dark skin?
- Yes. (This should be interesting!)
- Well, then they can't have these undies you see (holding up special ballet "skin"-coloured undies) because they are the wrong colour. What would they wear?
- I don't know. Maybe dark coloured undies?
- But that's not fair. The undies might be the wrong shape, they won't fit under the leotard.
- So what you're saying is that your skin-coloured undies aren't skin-coloured if you don't have light skin and that that's not fair?
- Yes. Why is that?

Searching questions indeed!

Parenting for a Peaceful World

2009-11-12T20:04:00.003+13:00

Well, I have finished reading the above book by Robin Grille, and it's due back at the library tomorrow. So, what to say?

It is a long book - longer than it needs to be. It could have been made much more punchy by quick summaries of other people's work (rather than what looked like long paraphrasing) and cutting out the occasional brain spew of rampant opinion. (Brain spews are of course quite acceptable in one's own book - or blog! But a few in here are just not in keeping with the main style of the book, which is a reasoned and referenced argument for re-examining and reprioritising how we raise our children).

The first part of the book looks at a psychohistory of childhood throughout the ages. It extensively references Lloyd de Mause and the Journal of Psychohistory - so much so that I wondered if I should just save myself some time and read de Mause instead. A quick google echoed two of my criticisms - that the history was really about child abuse rather than childhood, and that it required acceptance of the notion that emotional trauma in childhood was the root cause of war (and indeed any interpersonal violence). I find it hard to accept that any complex phenomenon can be explained by a single factor.

The model of a number of different child-rearing modes evolving over time (and co-existing) is an interesting one though. I liked how it avoids simple dualisms (such as "if you don't believe in unconditional parenting, therefore you must love your child conditionally" or "if you aren't attachment parenting, therefore your children are detached").

I found it interesting that not once did the author discuss abortion - perhaps because it fits uneasily into this model. I suspect that abortion is more acceptable overall in liberal families in the helping mode than in the stricter, authoritarian or sociailising families (who might place abortion squarely into the infanticidal mode of child rearing). This gap is surprising as he discussed foetal awareness later on in the book.

It took until part four (173 pages in) for the book to really hit its strides for me. I found the psychological spin on parenting and discipline styles genuinely interesting and a real contribution to the literature around this topic. The discussions surrounding emotional intelligence really had me thinking about my approach to life and personal growth.

And then I started pulling away again. Recovered memory syndrome...hmmm, I remember that from the 80s wasn't it? Recovering memories of your own birth? Well, not impossible I guess....maybe...I might be able to suspend disbelief.... Much of the last part of the book seemed to be relying on some fairly large assumptions and were almost a stereotype of what the layperson thinks of as psychoanalysis. Lie down. Get comfortable. Now tell me about your childhood....

So. I'm glad I read this book. It interested me. It engaged me. I particularly enjoyed the middle section and would like to come back to it again. But I hesistate to recommend it to everyone. Some readers would be entirely alienated by some of the psychospeak. Others would struggle to get through the sheer number of words to find the gems hidden within.

Why I love blocks

2009-10-29T20:37:00.005+13:00

Our blocks were well used over the recent school holidays.

First we had dramatic play - blocks used as an essential element of a story.

Isabelle and Aidan combined their various interests and the result was "A Sylvanian Day with the Sith".

Here's a Sylvanian trying out Darth Maul's Sith speeder.

Isabelle took a number of photos that we printed out. She has written a story in draft and the photos will illustrate each page. I think the story is about Sylvanians in space going to the Sith lair for a day trip.

Later on, the children did some maths. I think it began with a question about whether there was a three-block, and if so, what it would be called. I said that there wasn't a single triple-unit block, but how could we make one?

Here's the result, with the quadruple block alongside.

Yes, my lounge floor usually does look like that. The construction to Aidan's left is some kind of gun - I forget which type. (He makes up different types of weapon according to different specifications and gets annoyed if I mistake an uzi for a double-barreled rifle etc, so I'm hesitant to give this one a name in his absence!).

Not long after, Aidan did some similar experiments with the quarter and half circles.

There was some other cool stuff going on too, but I've left it too long to remember the details. Blocks are cool.

Baby schema

2009-10-23T20:46:00.003+13:00

People sometimes wonder how early a baby's schemas might be able to be identified. It seems to me that there are a number of scholarly ways to answer this question - depending first on how you define schema!

For Ewan right now, I notice how he bursts into giggles and becomes incredibly animated as he watches his big siblings race around the room. He exclaimed in delight as Orla threw wooden toys through the air to hit noisily against the glass of the cabinet. (My exclamations at this point were somewhat different). He jumped up and down in my arms as Orla burst open her train, scattering carriages and engines in all directions across the floor.

Trajectories, anyone? And a touch of the disconnect. Sound familiar?

And in other news, he really likes eggplant. And the cat. (But not together. Yet).

Haiku on the family E

2009-10-20T21:06:00.001+13:00

Son of my right hand
A free woman, doubly blessed
A mountain, to sing

Welcome little one. You are so loved!

Because everybody else is

2009-10-20T20:11:00.003+13:00

I'm supposed to answer in just one word.

1. Where is your cell / mobile phone? nonexistent
2. Your hair? long
3. Your mother? loved
4. Your father? loved
5. Your favourite food? rich
6. Your dream last night? weird
7. Your favourite drink? water
8. Your dream/goal? contentment
9. What room are you in? lounge
10. Your hobby? showering
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
13. Where were you last night? here
14. Something that you aren’t? unwrinkled
15. Muffins? bran
16. Wish list item? camera
17. Where did you grow up? Christchurch
18. Last thing you did? breastfed
19. What are you wearing? trackies
20. Your TV? nonexistant
21. Your pet? houdini
22. Friends? somewhere
23. Your life? lived
24. Your mood? tired
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? odyssey
27. Something you’re not wearing? glasses
28. Your favorite store? none
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? newspaper
32. Your best friend? best?
33. One place that I go to over and over? toilet
34. One person who emails me regularly? forums
35. Favorite place to eat? out

A no-fault system

2009-10-16T19:49:00.003+13:00

In 2008-09 ACC paid more than $62 million for motorcycle riders but collected only $12.3 million in levies from them.

(ACC spokesperson in the Dom Post today).

I'd be interested in seeing how much in levies ACC collected from cyclists and pedestrians vs payments for road accident-related injuries.

Long term parenting

2009-10-14T19:48:00.002+13:00

Another book I have finally read after talking about and around it for some time is Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. The cover claims enticingly that it is "A Provocative Challenge to the Conventional Wisdom About Discipline".

This book stands in contrast to most in the parenting genre. It presents an entire alternative philosophy to that which is usually promoted (being rewards/punishments with the aim of controlling and managing children's behaviour). Back in January when I reviewed Louise Porter's Young Children's Behaviour: Practical Approaches for Caregivers and Teachers, I wrote:

It is refreshing and interesting to have access to a complete body of work that forms a comprehensive alternative to behavioural management - especially if the star charts and times out are not working.

I am happy to report that I still agree with myself.

Alfie Kohn presents not a prescription, but principles and broad alternatives for bringing up children. It's difficult to summarise in a paragraph, but it's about parenting gently and reflectively. He argues that rewards (including praise) and punishments are ineffective and unnecessary - at least if your parenting goals are focused on optimising children's moral development, rather than their compliance. It's about working with rather than doing to, about taking time, listening and perspective taking.

There's lots to quibble about with this book. Some of it lies in the semantics of what particular phrase would be praise, and which would be acknowledgement - and whether the child would be able to tell the difference anyway. But essentially this is a good book that asks some big questions of parents and doesn't provide quick fixes. What it does do is focus on the big picture and the long term - which makes so much sense.

I was struck while reading how important it can be to read works in their own context, and as a whole (rather than presenting single ideas in isolation). Certainly some of my own doubts and questions were answered as I read the ACTUAL BOOK rather than someone else talking about his ideas!

However, for a New Zealand audience, I would rate Louise Porter as the better read - it's a bit more in keeping with our cultural context. The book itself could have been pulled together a bit better too - it felt like a summary of several groups of ideas (which reading his list of previous publications, it probably is). Occasionally he wandered (for example, his appendix on race and class seemed to get taken over by corporal punishment). It was a bit frustrating that he took a long time (chapter 7) before he described what unconditional parenting was in any detail. And end notes are just annoying - I much prefer footnotes, otherwise I have to keep flicking backwards and forwards. But hooray for the substantial reference list! (Are you listening, Steve Biddulph?!)

However, I rate these ideas. It is such a relief to read about parenting through a lens of compassion, love and empathy. A great antidote to the power plays, scary emotional withdrawal techniques, or slap-ourselves-on-the-back-because-we're sooo-hilarious programmes currently popularised in New Zealand.

Messy play

2009-10-04T16:21:00.003+13:00

Deep, deep down in the darkest corners of my pantry are all sorts of surprises. I recently found some ancient bran flakes along with some wholemeal flour which had gone rancid - both were no longer edible. So, out with the bowls and onto the deck for some messy play!

Get some water, sprinkle and mix.

Add some coffee, hardened into a single lump, which was best before....

Well, best before Orla was born. (So yeah, we don't drink a lot of instant...).

Mix into a thick and interesting paste.
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After this, mud was added in generous quantities. Potions were then splattered on the deck and lawn before one was added to our compost (which is where the expired food would have gone anyway), while one was hosed off our deck onto the grass and thus also returned to the soil. And our windows got washed at the same time!

It's good to have a baby

2009-10-03T16:35:00.002+13:00

Ewan is growing in cuteness daily. He has one little tooth beginning to poke up from his lower jaw, and two almost out on top. He has little grabby hands that love to reach out for anything and everything, especially newspapers and hair. He's getting more hair himself - and I think he's going to be a little red head! He loves big brother and big sisters, laughs and plays. He examines objects in his hands and mouths them. He rocks from side to side holding his feet, and pushes up on his feet when he's on his back, so that his bottom comes right off the ground. He is an enthusiastic and frequent feeder, but still can't quite manage solids. He's keen for food to be in his mouth, but can't quite co-ordinate the whole put-to-the-back-of-the-mouth-and-swallow thing. He's probably kept down a couple of micropieces of avocado and a bit of corn mush.

Ewan loves being in the front pack or meitai, and has recently graduated to the sling as well.

He can blow raspberries and has splashy baths. His smile lights up the room. He has iguanadon footprints on his head. (Yes, not your usual baby this one! The footprints are courtesy of big brother, via Orla's new stamp).

It's good to have a baby.

Swimming lessons

2009-10-01T21:15:00.003+13:00

We have just finished a holiday short-course of that great middle-class tradition - swimming lessons. We are late starters by some standards - at 7 and 5 Isabelle and Aidan are in their first class (although Isabelle has done a few lessons through school). Both were assessed as being in the absolute beginners class. There were no lessons at our local pool these holidays, so we went across town to a bigger pool.

The children happily hopped into the water for their first lesson. The instructor stood in the main part of the pool and asked them to float out to her. Float! Isabelle pushed off from the side....and floated! She actually floated! All the way over to the instructor, quite confidently. I was so proud - I never knew she could do that. And then it was Aidan's turn. I saw a bit of fear in his face (the water where the instructor was was well over his head). But he took a step out into the unknown, pushed off....and sank. He was quickly lifted out and up onto the platform, no worse for wear. Again I was proud - my brave boy!

It was immediately apparent that despite being assessed as absolute beginners, Isabelle's age and those few lessons at school meant she was some steps above Aidan. Fortunately for us, the class was small and instructors were readily available. So for most of the week, Aidan had one-on-one attention, while Isabelle shared another instructor with one other girl. (Excellent value for money for us!). Isabelle's greater maturity worked in her favour too - it's easier to focus when you're a bit older. (At one stage, the instructor said to Aidan to have straight arms, not "chicken arms" - that is, arms bent at the elbow. So for the next minute, the girls watched the instructor carefully as she demonstrated the strokes, while Aidan did the chicken dance).

They had fun. They both grew in confidence. By the end of the week, Isabelle was floating by herself, kicking, rotating her arms and starting to learn to breathe. She was actually swimming! Aidan was very happy dunking his head under the water, was starting to learn to rotate his arms, and was able to float by himself for a few seconds.

My kids were awesome! One because she could...and one because he couldn't, but did it anyway.

Open day

2009-09-29T20:51:00.005+13:00

Isabelle and Aidan's school opened the classrooms for a few hours after school so parents and family could view their work.

Isabelle used her light sabre to point out which art on the wall was hers.

But one of my favourites was her simile.

Aidan took some photos too.

Apparently the floor was extremely interesting!

Aidan had done a multicolour P.

Second day of school holidays

2009-09-29T20:46:00.002+13:00

Camo cake

2009-09-20T19:22:00.006+12:00

In catch-up mode a little on here...

Aidan wanted a camouflage cake for his friends birthday party (after making a marble cake with me a couple of weeks ago). We decided on black, green and khaki.

Khaki was easy to make - basically mix up everything with an accent on green for that muddy look. Then on goes the more lurid green....

Then black. Yummy!!

Then lick the bowl and twist the colours together.

Ice in the morning with dark green icing and decorate with soldiers.

Actually it tasted fine.

Unfortunately it rained on party day. The water bombs still went down a treat. Here's Brendon running the water bomb gauntlet to complete his mission, armed only with a quad block gun.

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

2009-09-20T19:18:00.000+12:00

A while back I finished reading How Children Learn at Home by Alan Thomas and Harriet Pattison. I really wanted to do a good job reviewing this book, because it started my mind going in all sorts of directions. I'm sure I made some stunning insights while in the shower. However, I needed to return the book to its rightful owner. And we've been very busy of late. So, yeah, this is as good as it's going to get. Unfortunately I am now reviewing the book without having it in front of me, so some of this is out of my dodgy memory.

The book is a result of research on 26 home schooling families (who followed an unstructured, informal approach to their children's learning), along with the application of educational theory and prior research. It explores an alternative way to become educated (informal learning at home with family).

Initially I read this book with great interest. I kept mentally nodding my head, thinking, yes! That makes so much sense. And when I went "yes, but...", often my question was answered in the next paragraph, which was very satisfying. The simplicity of the argument was compelling. If we know, through research, that free play at home is an effective way of learning for those 0-5, then why does this suddenly change when the child reaches "school age"? And if we can demonstrate that informally home schooled children can and do achieve success in life, then that in itself demonstrates that learning occurs and an education achieved.

Yes. But......

First, I was very interested in their interpretation of sociocultural theories of learning. Their comments (with respect to Vygotsky) that these theories were limited as they focused on how to teach rather than how children learned was genuinely illuminating. But at the same time I wondered if their reading of the material was correct. Certainly in the limited amount of reading I've done, I haven't thought of it that way before - it seemed to me that concepts like the Zone of Proximal Development could go both ways. I would have to do more reading though to be able to comment further on that. And I would love to read some work actually by Vygotsky (er...in translation!) rather than relying on the interpretations of others.

I had some problems too with the nature of their research. Somewhere in the book they say something like good parenting will result in an educated child. And it seemed like their 26 families were very good parents. Many were active in homeschooling communities, were dedicated and had a clear philosophy and an energy and passion for home education. So, not your average parent then! I wondered if the research had much general application. (It didn't necessarily need too, as that wasn't its focus. But I still wondered).

Because a lot of the research consisted of interviews with parents about their offspring - objectivity was nowhere in sight. We parents love to go on and on to anyone who will listen about how gorgeous, talented and generally excellent our precious babies are! (Hey, just explore this blog a little if you want an example!) Some of the anecdotes had a real "Gee whiz, he's so talented!" quality to them that grated a little. Some of the stories had...um...possible alternative explanations. For example, in one anecdote, a parent told proudly about how the son had read out his amazing story to a group of adults with total confidence. The impression given was that his powers of literacy and presentation wowed the crowd. Perhaps - just perhaps - they were shifting uncomfortably in their chairs wondering when this child was going to stop - please! (as the parent glowed with pride, blissfully unaware).

With respect to the research - I thought that a different method of gathering data could have been useful. At Playcentre, as is very common in early childhood education in New Zealand, we use learning stories to make informal learning visible. I'm proud of the portfolios that result - with tools such as a digital camera, a pen and enough time and love to just watch and notice, a wonderful record of learning can be created. This need not interfere with the learning process and can be either highly analytical, or just speak for itself. Would documenting learning in this way be an acceptable tracking process of informal learning, or would it be seen as too formal? I guess that would depend on the families' philosophies. It could be a very useful research tool. Blogs like this one can also provide incredibly rich information about the acquisition of informal learning. Sure, the filter of the parent is still there, but the children's learning is more open to a researcher's interpretations. I'm unconvinced that interviews give rich enough data to draw meaningful conclusions.

I was also struck by how often the parents said that children just knew stuff - were never taught. I wonder. I saw an example of this the other day - I can't really relate it online without identifying the person to at least three of my five readers, but I'll do my best to relate it. The child was demonstrating something that they had apparently spontaneously learnt. Yet watching, it was clear to me that I was watching a lesson. This was not a bad thing. In fact, it showed a parent doing a wonderful job doing what comes naturally. Yet because it did not involve a worksheet, a desk, or pen, paper or lecturing, it wasn't considered teaching. I guess my definition is a little wider.

A small curiousity from my perspective was the lack of attention to early childhood learning. It was almost as if there was the presumption that most children initially learn at home, then go to school (or at least learn informally in whatever ECE setting). In New Zealand at least most children attend something else (kindy, preschool, daycare, Playcentre etc), with the trend seemingly for more hours, earlier. Of course one may argue - as I would - that the informal learning these children experience at home is still of vital importance. Even a paragraph or two placing school-age learning in this larger educational context would have been helpful.

So, that was much of the first half of the book. I enjoyed it. It presented old ideas in a new fashion, and gave me some new ideas. All good stuff.

And on to the second half, which I found a lot more challenging. What I call the "second half" was more practical, looking at the acquisition of reading, writing, numeracy. I wasn't convinced. Despite the stories, no, I just don't believe that so long as there is literacy in the house, that children just teach themselves to read. Perhaps certain children in certain families. But for many, I think something more is necessary to break the code. And for me, no, it's not OK in the absence of special needs for a child to be not "ready" to read before they are 12. I can't imagine what I would have missed out on if that had been me.

Two other things I struggled with threaded through the second half. First, it seemed to be very important that children follow their interests. Fine, I can run with that, from both a practical and theoretical perspective. But it seemed such a sacred imperative - if a child was the least bit bored or unwilling, that was that. There was no obvious fostering of the learning dispositions of persevering through difficulties, or of applying yourself to do just what has to be done (even though it is boring or difficult). Sure, you can teach/experience that in other ways. (Housework comes to mind!). But again, I wonder. Even when doing things we love, sometimes there's boring or hard bits that you just have to push through to get to the (rewarding) other side.

(By the way, it would be usual at this point to say something like "this would not bode well in the world of work/"real" world. However, philosophically I believe that each life stage has value in and of itself rather than as a prelude to something else. So we can skip that bit).

The other thing was a strong thread of utilitarian learning - i.e. if it's not immediately useful (or the child cannot see the immediate use) it's not worth doing. I hear this often in statements like "well, how much of the maths you learnt at school do you actually use?" There was no analysis of educational process vs product that I can recall. It seemed highly ironic that learning for its own sake didn't appear to be valued in some of these unschooled contexts.

So, a worthwhile book and a thought-provoking read. I can't say that I'm a true believer though - if I were to homeschool I would require of myself a bit of structure (as of course some home educators do). And I'd like to see more research in this area so that we can know a bit more about this thing called informal learning.

Proper use of equipment

2009-09-16T20:11:00.001+12:00

Ever seen those baskets at playgrounds that you throw balls into and keep score etc? Aidan didn't have a ball, so....

School boy

2009-09-15T20:24:00.001+12:00

"He like being a tiger!"

2009-09-15T20:14:00.003+12:00

Ewan dressed by big sister.

Slightly more masculine than last time:

Lovely things

2009-09-15T20:01:00.003+12:00

Lovely things I have received recently:

Flowers from Playcentre, and a birthday cake in the post.

A picture from Iris

Afternoon tea

Orla Borla

2009-09-10T19:56:00.001+12:00

Orla sings "Orla Borla choo choo train, Orla Borla choo choo train!" (All aboard the choo choo train!).

I am reminded of my child self singing "Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, life is but a dream!"

Ancient mother

2009-09-02T20:28:00.004+12:00

Aidan (singing): It was a night like this,40 million years ago....
Me (singing): ...when your mother was born!
A: Really?
M: What?
A: You were born 40 million years ago?
M: What do you think?
A: Ummmm....yes!
M: Not quite! How old am I?
A: Ummmmm. Thirty......
M: Yes, thirty....how old is Isabelle?
A: Seven!
M: So I'm....
A: Twenty seven.
M: Thirties remember.
A: Seventy three.
M: Other way around.
A: Thirty seven!
M: Yes!

(It was Walk the Dinosaur, Was (Not Was) - original version. I wonder if Aidan is a visual learner - his response to my questions implies he was seeing the numbers in his head).

Oh I just remembered that this is an extra special birthday for suburban neurosis!

If I were a twitterer

2009-08-27T20:29:00.003+12:00

8.07 Have no coffee in the house.
9.17 Aidan just broke a glass. Can't find my sunglasses.
9.19 Found sunglasses. They are broken.
10.00 Architect here. Woot!
10.10 Architect is dressed in black, has beard and funky glasses.
10.12 Brendon has bought coffee for morning tea. Woot!
11.03 Dropped Brendon back at work. Off to B's to drop off Orla.
11.15 At B's. Decided to stay for cuppa.
11.43 Still at B's - shopping with Aidan for school clothes shortly.
12.01 Still at B's.
12.07 Aidan does not want to stop playing and start having quality Mama time.
12.22 Ditch quality time and keep playing.
1.03 Aidan is wearing a commando shirt, commando hat and has matching pistols.
2.59 Back home. We seem to have acquired a commando hat.
3.56 K and E here for a visit.
4.00 Mother help is here. Woot!
4.09 Hide commando hat.
4.11 Hide rugby flag (i.e. pointy wavy at face stick thing).
4.22 Aidan escaping up retaining wall.
4.31 Aidan up a tree.
4.45 Child guest pees on floor. Misses the carpet. Woot!
4.58 Wave goodbye to guests. Hope to see them again soon.
5.31 Isabelle's new Darth Maul v. cool.
6.50 Late tea. Too busy to fini
7.23 Ewan in bath. Orla on my lap asleep.
7.56 Brendon to supermarket.
8.48 Whittakers Dark Caramel tres fine.

Such excitement in just one day!

And in other news...

2009-08-21T20:28:00.001+12:00

Aidan's first school visit is not far away. Orla had her first official drop off at Playcentre today - apparently it went very well. Ewan has croup, but is improving.

Homeschooling Isabelle

2009-08-21T19:38:00.006+12:00

A bit of a cough and a bit of a snotty nose meant a day in the sun at home for Isabelle.

Here's what she got up to (all self-initiated).

First, poetry writing and collage (creative writing, arts):

Painting (arts, science):

Reading aloud to younger siblings (didn't get a photo of the actual reading: literacy):

Oh! Is that your new Bosch dishwasher?
Why yes!
And is that a shiny kitchen bench with no dirty dishes on it?
Yes again! How kind of you to notice!

Ahem...

Creating a fairy's house (our Steiner moment!), during which we discussed natural selection (science, fantasy play).

Chasing younger brother in the battle for possession of the plastic Darth Vader head on his return from Playcentre (physical education, strategic studies):

Teaching younger brother to read using Star Wars reader: ("Who is that? Anakin. So what does that say? Anakin!" - literacy).

Ballet practice (physical education):

Plus some other stuff, including me reading aloud, a picnic in the sun on the deck for lunch, a visit from Grandad and the end of day chill-out viewing Star Wars episode six.

I have thought that Isabelle would be very easy to home school because:
- she does it herself quite happily
- she can already read, write and count, so there's little angst about getting the basics sorted
- she teaches the younger ones useful things (and does helpful things for me!)
- her presence improves the mood and flow of the house.

I miss my big girl when she is at school!

The playdough man

2009-08-19T21:07:00.002+12:00

Apparently Aidan had a rare outing to the playdough table earlier this week at Playcentre. He made a playdough man. Anatomically correct.

The reported conversation:

Nearby man: Er...my playdough man has clothes on.
Aidan (matter of factly): Mine doesn't. He has a penis.

Points of grammar

2009-08-08T18:31:00.003+12:00

Orla very rarely answers a closed question or a statement with "yes" or "no". It's more:

- Would you like a biscuit? Orla: I would!
- He had a red car. Orla: Did he?

I'm not quite sure where this comes from. The most obvious answer is that I probably do it!

Do I?

Almost...

2009-08-08T14:47:00.002+12:00

None of my babies have really been into rolling. They tend to do it once each way, then proceed to crawling. Ewan's not rolling...yet. But he's on his way!

Gender explorations

2009-08-08T14:46:00.001+12:00

"Ewie is a boy!"
"Yes. And what are you?"
"I'm a pirate!"